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There's no crying in Twitter, that's why you have a Tumblr account.
I might be the star machine, but I'm not starring memes.
I believed that children are our future!
Related: I don't have any kids.
You're so mad that you could kill that person, but instead, you tweet about it and do nothing. Twitter saves lives!
I like to help the little people of Twitter.
YOU try to be boring and unfunny in every tweet, it's not as easy as I make it look.
Your last tweet made no sense to me. *star*
I'm going on a Twitter vacation.
See you in one hour.
My Twitter crush is an egg with a protected account.
This tweet is cursed, if you retweet it, you will twittercide in one week.
I like your passive aggressive tweets better than your subtweets.
Sext: I'm busy starring tweets, I don't have time for this.
Most of my tweets end up in the Bermuda Triangle.
"I've never been part of a murder" - A loner crow.
I always find it interesting that the person giving you a trophy is always one of your favorites.
The more pain you have the funnier you are, I have no pain.
All you have to do is follow ten people that like to retweet a lot and you will feel like you're following everyone here.
One twitter crush to rule them all.
I'm addicted to chill pills.
Twitter facts are real and never to be question by anyone.