Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
What do you call a capricious Brahmin? A Hindouche. You are welcome.
Blow a load into the bath towel of your neighbor's wife next time your over.You'll be glad you did.
"No offense Mrs.Santorum,but, your baby's breath could gag a donkey."
#TESHsays Amputating your arms will force you to eat less, and ultimately, loose weight.
If 'dulcet tones' are anything like big,heavy titties then I too will miss Eta James
Red Badge of Menses #lessambitiousbooks
Giving a pedicure to an aborted fetus is nearly as difficult as it is futile.
Calling the bowling alley to ask if they have 16 pound balls then asking how they ride their bike is the undisputed world champion of jokes.
It was a great and traditional Thanksgiving. Four days of Tuvan throat singing and cat's milk cheese.
MY BOYFRIEND IS ENGLISH so he gets mistaken for Bea Arthur when he wears a flowered housecoat.
#Teshsays If I ever meet god I'm going to ask him why he made people enjoy the smell of their own farts.
Got any gum?!!!! #thingsIyellwhilecumming
I joined Mrs.Obama's war on childhood obesity.I called a fat kid looser and told him his parents are lazy & uninformed.Making a difference!
Fred Willard on retirement "You can't beat it."
Sadness is a funny thing.
I dated a girl with big,heavy titties and she wasn't sure how she felt about me. It was an areolacoaster. You are welcome.