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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    *gay guy hits on me*
    ME: I'm straight.
    GAY GUY: So is spaghetti, until it's hot & wet.
    If any man gets to have me, it's this dude...

    • 1,170
    • FAVS
    zimbitchKissMyEsssFizzy_MabzItz_ThulzEgOLezzatamba_lakeliClaretBarabadauhreen
    • 1,863
    • RETWEETS
    thisbeKirbyDoItLike_MoiKissMyEsssItz_ThulzGivenAphane1GysmanTessGash_TaggNella_AF
    OfficeofSteveonume_bdbdleeroybrownVirgoSherryshanethevein
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...

    • 272
    • FAVS
    ToxicWorrierJohnnyNopoliswildehorse68smart_monkey_TLchDer367Cyd10eicehead13Poly
    • 1,290
    • RETWEETS
    amisicavesToxicWorrierTLchDer367Cyd10eR2Serge2TravLeBlancRunwayDanlushiousfalafel
    PencilWalrusinconsequentia2
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Not going to force my religion down my son's throat. I'd explain the differences & when the time comes, he can choose either Marvel or DC...

    • 777
    • FAVS
    kasiomartinJohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargehilarebelthatfunnydudnotthat_1Pinkbirds66RunwayDan
    • 593
    • RETWEETS
    kasiomartinhilarebelnotthat_1AshKnellergibbetAdar79Angiebourgeoisalienkrishna_van
    OfficeofSteveonume_DanKCharnleyOleThickHawkMaxine12333notfaizzy
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    CASHIER: 300.

    ME: Ha, like the movie.

    CASHIER: Nice one, Seinfeld.

    ME: Ha, like the comedian.

    CASHIER: ...

    ME: Ha, like a mime...

    • 580
    • FAVS
    WTF_MYOB_witchcraft101ToxicWorrierCogitoeRichBeingRichRecyledDadJohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmarge
    • 258
    • RETWEETS
    RezaDouraghiRecyledDadRagingPulprankingTweetsthebadjennkrishna_vanmc_funbagsTheBoydP
    onume_DanKCharnleyBuddyAckerswiftenhaalVodkaMary
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    I can still fit into my high school insecurities...

    • 407
    • FAVS
    MsPhantasticalsupnuggetjessicamaetylertricyclerunawayRafflesWord1987Smarttanyarego13MrsOilCat
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    supnuggetS__JayyTabneriumCyd10eTatumCSmirhalberstamfragsiesitldivina
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Note that when the power's out & all device batteries are dead, the square things are called books & the moving objects are other humans...

    • 309
    • FAVS
    cursedpunkBitchinFestyerbasuenabourgeoisalienToxicWorrierJohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargeraam_kothiyal
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    UnhingedBlahbourgeoisalienzayndric_karmachic_purple__thebadjennserbmanaDarlainkyvegasnitro70
    onume_JB4RealzSolelyBMaxine12333tweenyxpiplips
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Once, on Twitter, I followed a woman & she followed me back & we laughed & talked about life & how she was a man from Brooklyn...

    • 297
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargePatheticist_Tom_Thompson_bourgeoisalienladyfiredancerjarhead2151daniel_frijoles
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    bourgeoisalienthebadjennarmyantstudiosWretchGeekStacey_Monk_Darlainky_MaineGuyEgoisticButt
    OfficeofSteveOleThickHawkMaxine12333
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Notice how atheists are fighting & killing each other again over who doesn't believe in God the most? Oh no wait, that never happens...

    • 238
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargeKellySi24841815CSalvavidasTracyJensen40bourgeoisalienquita_bunniesthebadjenn
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    KellySi24841815CSalvavidasImaGodivabourgeoisalienquita_bunniesthebadjennJGongSoftbenerdist
    onume_Maxine12333
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Just saw my elementary school teacher. Loved her. She blew up a balloon for me once & I stole little gulps of her breath from it all day...

    • 257
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    muuurshiCdizzo1bourgeoisalienJohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargethebadjennlinarsinhonbenerdist
    • 111
    • RETWEETS
    bourgeoisalienthebadjennlinarsinhonbenerdistFavstar250iamszk_TheBoydPfavstar_history
    Tinkerbell_TheDailySchmuck
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    The thing about human relationships is that one person can be so overcome by a moment while the other person is thinking about KFC...

    • 216
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisJohn26649305amaroto__sumthinkdillyy92danigolightlyny7badee066ee0420LazyCougar
    • 141
    • RETWEETS
    RealVendettaZAKeri_shageishalyndillyy92Lexi__Alexandradevon_howellulf3tfunTweeters
    onume_
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...

    • 198
    • FAVS
    ToxicWorrierCogitoeblk_spiderman03nicecrazylady63RichBeingRichCoconoix34nurseslaughingRecyledDad
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    RecyledDadOrHaveNuthinOfficeofSteveiwearaonesiethebadjenncjkballermissmadisonjoyTheBoydP
    erased_250968215
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    So many lost people in the world. People in jail, those kids in Narnia, people that aren't following me on here, it's just so sad really...

    • 180
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargeiwearaonesiethebadjennBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbullBitchinFest
    • 84
    • RETWEETS
    thebadjennJayZ3uZBitchinFestAsYouNotWishPeaceInTruth1KrissiBexnomes_uOfficeofSteve
    Toy_A101
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    The thing is, life is sad but also quite hilarious & I've always been drawn to those who can express that they are not mutually exclusive...

    • 189
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    JohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargeiwearaonesiethebadjennbees_wingztoddwsmith_didyeayyyyeTheBoydP
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    weathrgirlmargethebadjenntoddwsmith_didyeayyyyeTheBoydPnomes_utoyotaman1988RichHarris2
    LuvPugKatarinaKriz
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    We should totes stop shortening our words, aite? It's not profesh or adorbs...

    • 155
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    ToxicWorrierJohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargeiwearaonesiemavisritafarrowquita_bunniespinknikki21privatelabelg
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    keedblueprivatelabelgthebadjennDestineyLynnriesypieceyCristanBBaileyMontybassetBambamVictoria
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    You'll need to step the fuck back when I air-drum along to my favourite songs. Unless you want to get rock 'n' roll all over your face...

    • 149
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisstormwhite7StorminikaHumor_FetishcottonscrapsCerridwen__One_FineMessweathrgirlmarge
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    johnma__pinOne_FineMessmynightsidethebadjennlvvzzbarkingtreesGiddythefuckupmweshiey
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Just ate something the size of my head. Nice to know I can fit my head in my gut, incase I need to swallow it in a survival situation...

    • 175
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisStorminikaweathrgirlmargethebadjennBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbullPeaceInTruth1
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    thebadjennnomes_uyoopnative__Maxine12333CVTBabyRobMarcus2Priscilla_YEAHTheDailySchmuck
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    GF: Stop cracking your toe knuckles!
    ME: We should call them tuckles.
    GF: *smile* So, finger knuckles would be-
    ME: Fuckles.
    *HIGH FIVE*...

    • 148
    • FAVS
    ToxicWorrierJohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargeiwearaonesieGunneyChezseasonalsquareprivatelabelgthebadjenn
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    ToxicWorrierkeedbluethebadjennSarah_1872CanadianMclovinrumanddiabetesnabatalalabalee__RueBarb_
    dephrank
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    My best work on Twitter is done in the middle of the night, interjecting in conversations that ended 7-8 hours ago...

    • 142
    • FAVS
    xysistonume_sweetly_naiveDrThanatosBeagirlNJVice_QueenJjkinky49Jeffpunmagnate
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    Oriewoonume_Jjkinky49Jeffardhi_aliJediGigiCVTBabysmirkykevnaseehatayob
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Kinda annoying when people use the word "traditional" to describe their values when they really mean racist & bigoted...

    • 129
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisStorminikaPurrStyloHumor_FetishcottonscrapsOne_FineMessweathrgirlmargemavisritafarrow
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
    DMAMA232323PurrStylocottonscrapsOne_FineMess_shelbyself_padro613quita_bunniesthebadjenn
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Let's review before it gets cold today:
    1. It'll be chilly.
    2. This has happened before.
    3. You'll say it's never been this cold.
    4. It has.

    • 143
    • FAVS
    JohnnyNopolisweathrgirlmargethebadjennBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbullKatieBurnettMollySneed
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    TeeJayRushCVTBabySouthernStylin1Nyagah_zeeanymakhubuCFMEWHOrayyyychslyoung5
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