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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    *gay guy hits on me*
    ME: I'm straight.
    GAY GUY: So is spaghetti, until it's hot & wet.
    If any man gets to have me, it's this dude...

    • 1,143
    • FAVS
    Erisean_LogicSlamacherkrishna_vanEldritchwondersAtheistEyesh_quantOnlyanatheist1ACourtesan
    • 1,824
    • RETWEETS
    krishna_vanalternyaaphrovariirthorjeremy501beersoniceyabbie5674ERN_MalleyscrubTheBoydP
    onume_bdbdleeroybrownVirgoSherryshanethevein
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...

    • 259
    • FAVS
    notthat_1RunwayDanlushiousfalafelRillitoRigataAdar79AngiebourgeoisalienMiss_Muchothebadjenn
    • 1,285
    • RETWEETS
    RunwayDanlushiousfalafelbourgeoisalienthebadjennDarlainkyFavstar250hero_squirrelkrishna_van
    PencilWalrusinconsequentia2
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Not going to force my religion down my son's throat. I'd explain the differences & when the time comes, he can choose either Marvel or DC...

    • 772
    • FAVS
    notthat_1Pinkbirds66RunwayDannastyn878Sihophonebourgeoisalienfaazphonethebadjenn
    • 592
    • RETWEETS
    notthat_1AshKnellergibbetAdar79Angiebourgeoisalienkrishna_vanTheBoydPJayZ3uZ
    OfficeofSteveonume_DanKCharnleyOleThickHawkMaxine12333notfaizzy
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    CASHIER: 300.

    ME: Ha, like the movie.

    CASHIER: Nice one, Seinfeld.

    ME: Ha, like the comedian.

    CASHIER: ...

    ME: Ha, like a mime...

    • 572
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    raam_kothiyalseasonalsquarethebadjennkrishna_vanmc_funbagstechn0craticTheBoydPSkinnerSteven
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    thebadjennkrishna_vanmc_funbagsTheBoydPJayZ3uZgontse_nkCanadianMclovinmbozalina
    DanKCharnleyBuddyAckerswiftenhaalVodkaMary
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Note that when the power's out & all device batteries are dead, the square things are called books & the moving objects are other humans...

    • 302
    • FAVS
    raam_kothiyald_rrman76QueenFunaayusaddythebadjennserbmanaDarlainkyvegasnitro70
    • 202
    • RETWEETS
    Karma_Zayrakichic_purple__thebadjennserbmanaDarlainkyvegasnitro70TheBoydPPr1y3
    onume_JB4RealzSolelyBMaxine12333tweenyxpiplips
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Once, on Twitter, I followed a woman & she followed me back & we laughed & talked about life & how she was a man from Brooklyn...

    • 295
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    Patheticist_Tom_Thompson_bourgeoisalienladyfiredancerjarhead2151daniel_frijolesthebadjennhangin_out
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    bourgeoisalienthebadjennarmyantstudiosWretchGeekStacey_Monk_Darlainky_MaineGuyEgoisticButt
    OfficeofSteveOleThickHawkMaxine12333
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Notice how atheists are fighting & killing each other again over who doesn't believe in God the most? Oh no wait, that never happens...

    • 236
    • FAVS
    KellySi24841815CSalvavidasTracyJensen40bourgeoisalienquita_bunniesthebadjennFeevie_benerdist
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    KellySi24841815CSalvavidasImaGodivabourgeoisalienquita_bunniesthebadjennJGongSoftbenerdist
    onume_Maxine12333
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    I can still fit into my high school insecurities...

    • 258
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    me_tango69LindsayLouvierrobin_991boobpumptheevilwriterFRANKATROCIOUSbrontesisterJFKinNewHaven
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    sexualgeminirobin_991Favstar250Mrs_K_ReneeJustCallMeC_thebadjennShadowSugarRushEllani_Belle
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Just saw my elementary school teacher. Loved her. She blew up a balloon for me once & I stole little gulps of her breath from it all day...

    • 252
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    thebadjennlinarsinhonbenerdistTheBoydPCroweJamBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbull
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    thebadjennlinarsinhonbenerdistFavstar250iamszk_TheBoydPfavstar_historysm1krazee
    Tinkerbell_TheDailySchmuck
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    The thing about human relationships is that one person can be so overcome by a moment while the other person is thinking about KFC...

    • 182
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    jessicavdb15madmcd5CatherineLMKrfoebelowmuddledbonespunmagnateJarrrryBabyiwearaonesie
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    asylakkangeloierulloaSmilingMessiwearaonesieelixiraromaticFatBottomGirl1tiReynardmissmadisonjoy
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...

    • 188
    • FAVS
    SisterDecadenceL2BuffoonsiwearaonesiethebadjenncjkballerERN_MalleyscrubmissmadisonjoyTheBoydP
    • 84
    • RETWEETS
    OrHaveNuthinOfficeofSteveiwearaonesiethebadjenncjkballermissmadisonjoyTheBoydPthemadhatter688
    erased_250968215
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    So many lost people in the world. People in jail, those kids in Narnia, people that aren't following me on here, it's just so sad really...

    • 178
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    iwearaonesiethebadjennBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbullBitchinFestmetaburbiaThatGirlDing
    • 84
    • RETWEETS
    thebadjennJayZ3uZBitchinFestAsYouNotWishPeaceInTruth1KrissiBexnomes_uOfficeofSteve
    Toy_A101
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    The thing is, life is sad but also quite hilarious & I've always been drawn to those who can express that they are not mutually exclusive...

    • 187
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    iwearaonesiethebadjennbees_wingztoddwsmith_didyeayyyyeTheBoydPBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovin
    • 73
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    LuvPugKatarinaKriz
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    We should totes stop shortening our words, aite? It's not profesh or adorbs...

    • 152
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    iwearaonesiemavisritafarrowquita_bunniespinknikki21privatelabelgthebadjenniTellBadJokesDestineyLynn
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    keedblueprivatelabelgthebadjennDestineyLynnriesypieceyCristanBBaileyMontybassetBambamVictoria
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    You'll need to step the fuck back when I air-drum along to my favourite songs. Unless you want to get rock 'n' roll all over your face...

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    iwearaonesiemynightsidethebadjennsussudio1022Tmoney68lvvzzThe_MartiniGirlkatta_IoIkatt
    • 86
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    mynightsidethebadjennlvvzzbarkingtreesGiddythefuckupmweshieyMistriLyniGreenMonk
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Just ate something the size of my head. Nice to know I can fit my head in my gut, incase I need to swallow it in a survival situation...

    • 172
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    thebadjennBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbullPeaceInTruth1KatieBurnettMollySneedJohn26649305
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    thebadjennnomes_uyoopnative__Maxine12333CVTBabyRobMarcus2Priscilla_YEAHTheDailySchmuck
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    GF: Stop cracking your toe knuckles!
    ME: We should call them tuckles.
    GF: *smile* So, finger knuckles would be-
    ME: Fuckles.
    *HIGH FIVE*...

    • 145
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    iwearaonesieGunneyChezseasonalsquareprivatelabelgthebadjenncloudypianosBambamVictoriaRealPrincessKim
    • 59
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    keedbluethebadjennSarah_1872CanadianMclovinrumanddiabetesnabatalalabalee__RueBarb_shays0122
    dephrank
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Kinda annoying when people use the word "traditional" to describe their values when they really mean racist & bigoted...

    • 123
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    mavisritafarrowbrejeezyfbaby0pen_Mikepadro613quita_bunniestddfnCristanBBaileyBDGarp
    • 75
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    _shelbyself_padro613quita_bunniesthebadjennkayleymaywCristanBBaileyMis2KsBambamVictoria
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    Let's review before it gets cold today:
    1. It'll be chilly.
    2. This has happened before.
    3. You'll say it's never been this cold.
    4. It has.

    • 141
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    thebadjennBambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbullKatieBurnettMollySneedwordthrowerFRANKSTALICIOUS
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    TeeJayRushCVTBabySouthernStylin1Nyagah_zeeanymakhubuCFMEWHOrayyyychslyoung5
  • thetobbie
      TO33IE @thetobbie

    The coolest undocumented feature of humans is that when born, if our reflexes are good, we have a brief 80-year window to not be assholes...

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    BambamVictoriaCanadianMclovindietredbullbrenbrenwalshPurvoActualbradley1ajordan_strattonMandoMiri
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    fromxglodDancingDanBKatieBurnettladyjazsjunkSouthernStylin1CVTBabyhulloandgetout2PASSaSMILE
    onume_rivetingbonmots
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