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  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Good morning, California! That was Me.

    • 21k
    • FAVS
    PrincessRanaasbrennan_zach1182kamiekaymeetahlia42447082youtube_jamienyckyzinhajennettequenga
    • 13k
    • RETWEETS
    Osnapitzboca_StewPoohsoldoutgrandefollowingsea2Anapzanette_BranellopeArianatorJpnAlfredo_Lowride
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Being gay is far less of a choice than being an asshole.

    • 12k
    • FAVS
    CourtzallbeeBeckRodgermaliahdew1102twilhelm92mymyouxmarie_s18polovnjakSRAL_reads
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    CourtzallbeecdiclearcrispsignsKevs_viewGidgitVonLaRue01lakiLowen_minogueVoodooNickel
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Sorry, rest of the world, Junior and I can't help you now. We're too busy helping some loon cross a canyon on a piece of floss.

    • 7,063
    • FAVS
    dracoholdingSydSaaebJamesa7171azraelwritesvlpaceCroweJamgeo_teiraLorenaMorlote
    • 19k
    • RETWEETS
    CanofPeasetoothisoutthereShwentoGerar36wb_awgraphyThePillarSaintsTheKenyan_NigelBigMeech
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The Duck Dynasty guy who likened homosexuality to bestiality makes a living helping people trick ducks into thinking they want to fuck them.

    • 7,988
    • FAVS
    Chrysalis_ArtMomoJadeAlfredo_LowrideKMassnerkarismaticfoolBradSLCRemiFrancoeur1JoshuaFlail
    • 11k
    • RETWEETS
    HandsomeJackFMdavhaw63JoshuaFlailMissyBombinoSadieSmithRokskingofqueens_BWArtsHousechewbaccaloco
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Fuck it, I'm resigning too.

    • 4,037
    • FAVS
    ShazLightyearSydSaaebcackoebago__stefanel__dmutatiiateeveryonezendao42BhaduSharvan
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    Favstardom__stefanel__iateeveryoneSarcastridDvL305psalinas24mtnmamastetheMorganHolmes
    moxieblogger
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    YES! YOU'RE WELCOME MATTHEW!

    • 7,756
    • FAVS
    ASDistilleryJanine1993tommytexeiraTetGamesLtdSincerelyRanda7mybloodypixiesrussle_croweAlbaRaquelrenee
    • 8,715
    • RETWEETS
    mattmc539chema_barraganJamieCarynBethann_GoonPeachfuzz1000nunushonnashivodkyasirisiriss
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    America is now closed. We apologize for the inconvenience.

    • 3,751
    • FAVS
    ACVingborgDuckDynastyGameacenowandagomigrantologosSydSaaebgonard9MarinabpasNicoleBasdeo2
    • 12k
    • RETWEETS
    SirocoAle________migrantologosDMVMES__TLL595jpachecojrO_Mageirasejaytheking____emcaldwell98
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    My favorite word is "Amen" because when I hear it it means you're done asking Me for stupid shit.

    • 5,292
    • FAVS
    acenowandagojonsparkAnaysMontanoiTwitFunPounehSoleimaniXSaraCooperXSydSaaebShabAvare
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    zahrajazzampersarnieKerfuckusFavstardomSydSaaebWatravisNicoleBidonsbold
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    THE NEW 10 PLAGUES

    1. Homophobia
    2. Bad wi-fi
    3. Kardashians
    4. Meth
    5. Uggs
    6. Hipsterism
    7. CO2
    8. Facebook
    9. Indifference
    10. Beyoncé

    • 3,631
    • FAVS
    Emilia_IIIAlfredo_LowrideGetonga_unacortazianaJostBjrkegrenSydSaaebdjwolf76__________bbidwell
    • 11k
    • RETWEETS
    vinayaka_bhat_GetongaFavstardomJaybotloli_iyuridjwolf76__________Superman6869mike_truman
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.

    • 5,749
    • FAVS
    Chrysalis_ArtZe_RUSHpolovnjakRashik_AKaeAdelemarietearjerkymarks_bennettAlfredo_Lowride
    • 7,899
    • RETWEETS
    debajeetchconorparrish51maruslarrosaeffidamonstaTommyW3lshellelala2000RaziaxSaarosiles
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ON A BIBLE is one of the great ironies of life.

    • 6,229
    • FAVS
    TheKate_RinamodrarijekaHexa_aChalupacabra__popeJOHNpuck24elladandantbaronet38AtBlaize4S
    • 7,135
    • RETWEETS
    VijaykalaRakeshChalupacabra__AtBlaize4SSScatteredpastJayyyButlera70774359Gaz_Lightyearthejonny25
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    How dare all these people win awards for Gravity?!? I CREATED GRAVITY!

    • 5,678
    • FAVS
    icedteerexOrozco2RaulKevinLauversachi_bbsrBigKeydifelipe7rzJosephParisi14chirkainaa
    • 7,597
    • RETWEETS
    Hailee_SteppOrozco2RaulShiva_anarionBigKeydiWestGamer3Floydiliciousshimaejazslendertata
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The reason I didn't mention dinosaurs in the Bible is shut up.

    • 3,489
    • FAVS
    ariammwillbeSydSaaebJtweetersSchlecktermitwedazraelwritesNoSoyPoegeo_teira
    • 9,756
    • RETWEETS
    FavstardomSchlecktermerylevensmirexengeo_teiratragic_pizzaholguitarCuriumGray
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Most homophobes are secretly gay. However, most arachnophobes are not secretly spiders.

    • 5,624
    • FAVS
    BerilBerianlane88kylepaulaP3P510EquisSJJellicleJessieLizInch947EllEnforcer
    • 6,886
    • RETWEETS
    thehrhhassanMaxouLaTouffeSiiiimonsaysnelsonwendellaM_TururuYours_PeterGonzo_ssj9homekyle
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Even I think Zimmerman was guilty, and I'm an old white guy.

    • 3,929
    • FAVS
    katelynaltman44F_ElanaSydSaaebQueenNigeriaazraelwritesTheLoveThatDiednyax6phillipneman7
    • 8,464
    • RETWEETS
    madi_hagmanpatriziobarberBumpinGemzBigShrinkzKentonDepewumasbella1DatboiKitagluna_w
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    There's no need to call My name during sex. I'm already watching.

    • 5,014
    • FAVS
    modrarijekaalexis_carrremilyhutleyAlfredo_Lowridesouva71brookeslackyanurulPerlenica
    • 6,651
    • RETWEETS
    sugarshack20evangelionpizzaalexis_carrrTheUnmasteredOneAndOnlyColinPerlenicasherlynspacepeanutsrevenge
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Any atheist who retweets this is going to hell for eternity.

    • 1,159
    • FAVS
    undonestarAlfredo_Lowridesieralyn11achromaticworldSydSaaebdmutatikloenernyax6
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    Alfredo_LowrideLorenzoFloodSheeranEmilyCasonMonsterHausofPaytonWimaliSteboxthamerMcpCoolpool79
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Sorry Auburn. Your miracle quota was filled.

    • 3,473
    • FAVS
    iTwitFunReubenAdolfSydSaaebazraelwritesDavidFohlbrookAmayShah27katkatDMNACE
    • 7,721
    • RETWEETS
    anuragsyadav15Hanneliator_8Vannygirl01Fresh_Piratedeconsimpbriansr14parrinatorMikaylaDefore
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

    • 5,195
    • FAVS
    DHSpanther72BRvictorensalw1ll1am11ianlane88g4c2WillyWollyOllyalytronnneneverc_307
    • 5,954
    • RETWEETS
    SiiiimonsaysPoss_BossYours_PeterhomekyleBerilBerdunnepat74alytronnnjburst32
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    America, you were settled via the extermination of one race and the enslavement of another. But please, lecture us more about freedom.

    • 4,045
    • FAVS
    GuiGuilianoheaterjdACVingborgDah_ButlahacenowandagoAndrewSacks13parggit__dolapo
    • 6,914
    • RETWEETS
    qajthemaverickMilanYildirimdjant28Extra_BuritoMellicubedErowoOohDee59AlisWay
@TheTweetOfGod

@TheTweetOfGod

I'm your dope-ass divinity, trollin' with My trinity, droppin' top tweets in your immediate vicinity, flingin' fly phrases from the fringes of infinity.