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  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    THE NEW 10 COMMANDMENTS

    1 Laugh.
    2 Read.
    3 Say please.
    4 Floss.
    5 Doubt.
    6 Exercise.
    7 Learn.
    8 Don't hate.
    9 Cut the bullshit.
    10 Chill.

    • 19k
    • FAVS
    CaseysaysgrshrikantknairMochachiiinoNomoraHoshizoraTBeaveNY2LV90briandaldridgeesportssummit
    • 25k
    • RETWEETS
    2014_serenityshrikantknairMochachiiinopencourageluciewhoMaryamAmir02WhitneyDaweJayyyK47
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Stop praying to Me, Brazil. Even I can't help you now. #WorldCup

    • 13k
    • FAVS
    kennethdanielcSurferConWakaTimewilliamshawrAvrilTheQueennVulcunFSappleparkkidssarahsiede
    • 26k
    • RETWEETS
    MrBLester_anonymaus_arkoguha1macollibraCasvensolijt1994EvereyBKatCebreiros
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Good morning, California! That was Me.

    • 21k
    • FAVS
    NomoraHoshizoracarolina_co6Logandradailysoxxs_dancerApirooolaMerchelletteSamnuggetGRaymondJTarin
    • 13k
    • RETWEETS
    darylefgrWanderinPoetMatthews_HatShirleyBlantzJBbelieber_OLLGLevonDaddario1YosephX5WWEmianaluu
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Wrong! That's why I gave you two hands. pic.twitter.com/CxxXMztfS5

    • 17k
    • FAVS
    strom_nathanmanic_wolfD_FraggeQueen_de_la_ketprateekrajsahuTikkupullaalokjha_03saveclarke
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    vishvedi10manic_wolfCalico_KaiEoinEOCflabby_fat_manalbertinito28Broseph_Stalin0EoinDonByrne
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Being gay is far less of a choice than being an asshole.

    • 13k
    • FAVS
    cameronandrewwNomoraHoshizorastefaniericharsappleparkkidsnonnymouse_tumbleweedtallyaVecesSoyPauJeanne_mcguires
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    NomoraHoshizoraarrowtuthekneeCelsoPiazziLouisPittockjeanbricker101fluffypenngiunAnna_Overlinmorgantsparks1
    eddsthetics
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    MY SON! MY SON IS PRESENTING FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS!!!

    • 16k
    • FAVS
    MeaganX121ginnyllovessyouJWslkerflyrobinblygraziellelovat1mackenzie_erin4tajsterrla_lalaurie
    • 11k
    • RETWEETS
    Demi_92_LovatoparedemiflamesbegnTiagoPic25modelHeyItsQuorraddlbrigadeirowsivanlovatoinwfap
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Sorry, rest of the world, Junior and I can't help you now. We're too busy helping some loon cross a canyon on a piece of floss.

    • 7,075
    • FAVS
    loginconferencejfoit3HelloMD_SupportCharmSafeMarlonBrandNOJustcomingtoweyhrauchlawDrHyunBae
    • 19k
    • RETWEETS
    msmonicabarberWanderinPoetJimKalaitzisBostonAccent79CanofPeasetoothisoutthereShwentoGerar36
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The color of a dress? Really? That's what you're asking Me? THE OCEAN LEVELS ROSE FOUR INCHES IN TWO YEARS. You know that, right?

    • 12k
    • FAVS
    ginnyllovessyouPrivateGeloJWslkerflyrobinblytheonlyKiZZLEHunter2017annbennytajsterr
    • 12k
    • RETWEETS
    AlexThe_Gingermayor_makoeOderoAluluannbennytaylordapolitoJames_Dyer98100008140659180carlielyn
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    1. It is not My desire that you behead humanitarian workers.
    2. I can't fucking believe I need to say that.

    • 11k
    • FAVS
    WouterTjonalexnee93BolderJerrysharaKloverDylanRoth6Anurag_ChanderaVecesSoyPaucamryncottuli_c
    • 13k
    • RETWEETS
    SBinneydhoarGinnyGaigeDylanRoth6GB13FaithlessJudgeIykebrookewalkssseducenndestroy
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    I have lost control of the situation.

    • 8,338
    • FAVS
    liana_roblesJulliiiMartinsfuckspleenXenofontempca2012zucchero72FelipeFigueroaZkatakshpariwar
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    Fe_SilvierGABRlELPINHEIROSumido_mpca2012Milady_foreverjuank700410FelipeFigueroaZGonzaloKrebs
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Being gay isn’t a choice, but living in Indiana is.

    • 12k
    • FAVS
    Hombaca05marcmcgaugh1975imdaisy_adelshehadehsudneyriteMsJacquieBrownfourbeasts1313ronhanks
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    Hombaca05marcmcgaugh1975JustinWuffyWagsVic_Birdrjamimekay1010_10linksadaylilcountrygirly
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    THE FIVE STAGES OF GLOBAL WARMING

    1. Denial
    2. Guilt
    3. Depression
    4. Acceptance
    5. Drowning

    • 9,071
    • FAVS
    CookieMan999NomoraHoshizorahi_im_allamariucci77FinadaPazrana0285sabaithaiScarlettSScott
    • 13k
    • RETWEETS
    marvelbeatsdc_LArtDeVivreKimKaosDKC_Coolidgejasonmarvel_missafflictionSchleckterbenoofana
  • TheTweetOfGod
    • 10k
    • FAVS
    strom_nathanklinabeanKealanFeeryhenryjonesrJimJamGinLittle_ShiraMartinaBobbiejamesholdend1
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    Little_ShiraMartinaBobbieEvanOscherwitztuxfloTom_BraiderndnstylPromovatorschneeregen
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    America: where minorities, for good reason, fear their kids getting shot, and white people, for no reason, fear their kids getting shots.

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    JWslkerBrockMostlyAlmostMealokjha_03GageiHighxbarbarayangvalefamianijkclementine
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    iCityxchelmexCescOffenderevocateurwhofiletsKhantronMelanieShipsecretly_exist
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    If Ochoa guarded the gates of heaven no one would ever get in. #BrazilvsMexico

    • 7,837
    • FAVS
    chiachinleeaerium7kyle_fabrizioInfiniteMugenzdramirezeFranciscoRguezAjerrymarin011saxonjohn666
    • 13k
    • RETWEETS
    _anonymaus_my_2_centavosJairoRamos_15medrano_17LuckyOnbekendJustRealsScienceWarrior2KatCebreiros
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Only one religion is right but I won't say which one because I want you to figure it out by hating and killing each other while I watch.

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    CookieMan999MitchSkowjopama96teena2729Cuzgeorge2196eatit007guptamani3105fdaponte72
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    theamandarajdewi_ms_61861JbTruyaNahtanDcDavidPerkerteena2729eatit007canyonclimbs
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The idea that you evolved from apes is disgusting. Isn't it nicer to believe you descended from one couple and their incestuous children?

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    CookieMan999MoshikoIzsakAlexTelmanMeggiemuffKareMakinenBolderJerryProjectCoyoteLovethismadness
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    Dare2BlinkZohaibSaddozaiCielGustGB13FaithlessznacidaKittyTheNinjaKulMiJeimeathinkingman
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    It’s times like this I really wish I existed.

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    _heavvenSportsBikeCarjamiey_fireclawajTheTwinOaksbpadinharuben_matthewsa_donna
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    WerewolfHeart_WouldBeATragedyemmilykwongsombrekhanNahtanDcfashoulderleanaprillovechildAndreaAteIt
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    TERRORIST LOGIC

    1. I am concerned about my religion’s negative reputation in the eyes of the world.
    2. I will kill people in its name.

    • 9,069
    • FAVS
    JWslkertrees0604bes125James_Dyer98fireclawajTheLonelyCaesarTheTwinOaksYvesSim
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    James_Dyer98theamandarajTheTwinOaksYungMvtrivrchyYvesSimt_vaishnavitaqitelhuWouldBeATragedy
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The Duck Dynasty guy who likened homosexuality to bestiality makes a living helping people trick ducks into thinking they want to fuck them.

    • 7,998
    • FAVS
    marshippoaerium7Whole_Hogjackwong731amanda_baylorCalcytronLaBelleMaeSF_Sandy
    • 11k
    • RETWEETS
    Bathtub_liquorbeninsand_Phoenix165darrrkstarrrWordbeastswagsitcomdadJimKalaitzisLorapagani
@TheTweetOfGod

@TheTweetOfGod

I'm your dope-ass divinity, trollin' with My trinity, droppin' top tweets in your immediate vicinity, flingin' fly phrases from the fringes of infinity.

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