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David Bowie was the God I always wanted to be.
Honestly, hanging out with David Bowie is even cooler than I thought it would be!
THE NEW 10 COMMANDMENTS
3 Say please.
8 Don't hate.
9 Cut the bullshit.
Don't thank Me, Floyd. Thank Satan, your Lord and Savior, you fucking bastard.
Donald Trump is a huge asshole who is ahead in the polls because millions and millions of Americans are also huge assholes.
If it’s Trump/Palin I’m coming down there.
Good morning, California! That was Me.
No you don't. Fuck you. https://twitter.com/CNN/status/688738869861285889 …
"Vatican: Irish Gay Marriage Referendum a ‘Defeat for Humanity’." As opposed to wholesale child rape, which was a smashing success.
Being gay is far less of a choice than being an asshole.
I FORGOT JUNIOR'S BIRTHDAY!!!
MY SON! MY SON IS PRESENTING FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS!!!
Thoughts and prayers don't help. You know what does help? Help.
Sorry, rest of the world, Junior and I can't help you now. We're too busy helping some loon cross a canyon on a piece of floss.
Coming any minute since the dawn of time.
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