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THE NEW 10 COMMANDMENTS
3 Say please.
8 Don't hate.
9 Cut the bullshit.
Don't thank Me, Floyd. Thank Satan, your Lord and Savior, you fucking bastard.
Sorry, rest of the world, Junior and I can't help you now. We're too busy helping some loon cross a canyon on a piece of floss.
"Vatican: Irish Gay Marriage Referendum a ‘Defeat for Humanity’." As opposed to wholesale child rape, which was a smashing success.
Being gay is far less of a choice than being an asshole.
Fuck it, I'm resigning too.
I have lost control of the situation.
Good morning, California! That was Me.
1. It is not My desire that you behead humanitarian workers.
2. I can't fucking believe I need to say that.
THE FIVE STAGES OF GLOBAL WARMING
This is the current leading candidate for the Republican nomination for President of the United States. https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/265895292191248385 …
The color of a dress? Really? That's what you're asking Me? THE OCEAN LEVELS ROSE FOUR INCHES IN TWO YEARS. You know that, right?
America is now closed. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Thoughts and prayers don't help. You know what does help? Help.
Coming any minute since the dawn of time.
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