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  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Sorry, rest of the world, Junior and I can't help you now. We're too busy helping some loon cross a canyon on a piece of floss.

    • 7,063
    • FAVS
    dracoholdingSydSaaebJamesa7171azraelwritesvlpaceCroweJamgeo_teiraLorenaMorlote
    • 19k
    • RETWEETS
    CanofPeasetoothisoutthereShwentoGerar36wb_awgraphyThePillarSaintsTheKenyan_NigelBigMeech
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Being gay is far less of a choice than being an asshole.

    • 12k
    • FAVS
    CourtzallbeeBeckRodgermaliahdew1102twilhelm92mymyouxmarie_s18polovnjakSRAL_reads
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    CourtzallbeecdiclearcrispsignsKevs_viewGidgitVonLaRue01lakiLowen_minogueVoodooNickel
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Fuck it, I'm resigning too.

    • 4,037
    • FAVS
    ShazLightyearSydSaaebcackoebago__stefanel__dmutatiiateeveryonezendao42BhaduSharvan
    • 15k
    • RETWEETS
    Favstardom__stefanel__iateeveryoneSarcastridDvL305psalinas24mtnmamastetheMorganHolmes
    moxieblogger
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Good morning, California! That was Me.

    • 21k
    • FAVS
    Enrike_973PrincessRanaasbrennan_zach1182kamiekaymeetahlia42447082youtube_jamienyckyzinha
    • 13k
    • RETWEETS
    MicaylaMaree123Osnapitzboca_StewPoohsoldoutgrandefollowingsea2Anapzanette_BranellopeArianatorJpn
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    America is now closed. We apologize for the inconvenience.

    • 3,751
    • FAVS
    ACVingborgDuckDynastyGameacenowandagomigrantologosSydSaaebgonard9MarinabpasNicoleBasdeo2
    • 12k
    • RETWEETS
    SirocoAle________migrantologosDMVMES__TLL595jpachecojrO_Mageirasejaytheking____emcaldwell98
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The Duck Dynasty guy who likened homosexuality to bestiality makes a living helping people trick ducks into thinking they want to fuck them.

    • 7,988
    • FAVS
    Chrysalis_ArtMomoJadeAlfredo_LowrideKMassnerkarismaticfoolBradSLCRemiFrancoeur1JoshuaFlail
    • 11k
    • RETWEETS
    HandsomeJackFMdavhaw63JoshuaFlailMissyBombinoSadieSmithRokskingofqueens_BWArtsHousechewbaccaloco
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    THE NEW 10 PLAGUES

    1. Homophobia
    2. Bad wi-fi
    3. Kardashians
    4. Meth
    5. Uggs
    6. Hipsterism
    7. CO2
    8. Facebook
    9. Indifference
    10. Beyoncé

    • 3,631
    • FAVS
    Emilia_IIIAlfredo_LowrideGetonga_unacortazianaJostBjrkegrenSydSaaebdjwolf76__________bbidwell
    • 11k
    • RETWEETS
    vinayaka_bhat_GetongaFavstardomJaybotloli_iyuridjwolf76__________Superman6869mike_truman
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    My favorite word is "Amen" because when I hear it it means you're done asking Me for stupid shit.

    • 5,292
    • FAVS
    acenowandagojonsparkAnaysMontanoiTwitFunPounehSoleimaniXSaraCooperXSydSaaebShabAvare
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    zahrajazzampersarnieKerfuckusFavstardomSydSaaebWatravisNicoleBidonsbold
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Any atheist who retweets this is going to hell for eternity.

    • 1,159
    • FAVS
    undonestarAlfredo_Lowridesieralyn11achromaticworldSydSaaebdmutatikloenernyax6
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    Alfredo_LowrideLorenzoFloodSheeranEmilyCasonMonsterHausofPaytonWimaliSteboxthamerMcpCoolpool79
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    The reason I didn't mention dinosaurs in the Bible is shut up.

    • 3,489
    • FAVS
    ariammwillbeSydSaaebJtweetersSchlecktermitwedazraelwritesNoSoyPoegeo_teira
    • 9,756
    • RETWEETS
    FavstardomSchlecktermerylevensmirexengeo_teiratragic_pizzaholguitarCuriumGray
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    St. Patrick is already totally shit-faced.

    • 1,592
    • FAVS
    azraelwritesnyax6DiamondDoll723DemBabaThe2ndConnell_O_ShaneEngageTheRebelsmagrijade85deathtoscumbags
    • 8,890
    • RETWEETS
    crashlinnHKane68_oculusmundi______Wahid_AmjadBraydenJMacKeanBizGilbertharrygilbert758GameBreakerXx
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    YES! YOU'RE WELCOME MATTHEW!

    • 7,756
    • FAVS
    ASDistilleryJanine1993tommytexeiraTetGamesLtdSincerelyRanda7mybloodypixiesrussle_croweAlbaRaquelrenee
    • 8,715
    • RETWEETS
    mattmc539chema_barraganJamieCarynBethann_GoonPeachfuzz1000nunushonnashivodkyasirisiriss
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Even I think Zimmerman was guilty, and I'm an old white guy.

    • 3,929
    • FAVS
    katelynaltman44F_ElanaSydSaaebQueenNigeriaazraelwritesTheLoveThatDiednyax6phillipneman7
    • 8,464
    • RETWEETS
    madi_hagmanpatriziobarberBumpinGemzBigShrinkzKentonDepewumasbella1DatboiKitagluna_w
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Next time you're tempted to masturbate, remember that I'm watching you, and also masturbating.

    • 2,645
    • FAVS
    leebryan83Dah_ButlahWheelTodSydSaaebwazup3211azraelwritesNoSoyPoeBigKeydi
    • 8,028
    • RETWEETS
    karri_leighGoggnerWheelTodWeLoveKourtneyChristopheMenawazup3211gstnklcsrheracr0ss_
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.

    • 5,749
    • FAVS
    Chrysalis_ArtZe_RUSHpolovnjakRashik_AKaeAdelemarietearjerkymarks_bennettAlfredo_Lowride
    • 7,899
    • RETWEETS
    FuckinJunkiedebajeetchconorparrish51maruslarrosaeffidamonstaTommyW3lshellelala2000RaziaxS
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    Sorry Auburn. Your miracle quota was filled.

    • 3,473
    • FAVS
    iTwitFunReubenAdolfSydSaaebazraelwritesDavidFohlbrookAmayShah27katkatDMNACE
    • 7,721
    • RETWEETS
    anuragsyadav15Hanneliator_8Vannygirl01Fresh_Piratedeconsimpbriansr14parrinatorMikaylaDefore
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    I send natural disasters to punish mankind for being stupid enough to believe in a God who would send natural disasters to punish it.

    • 2,062
    • FAVS
    azraelwritesMonsieurM3yergiGhadaM__TheEvenfallMellicubedPennyRelentlesscaptainp0nch0whiskey_eyed
    • 7,601
    • RETWEETS
    TheEvenfallASheriifrushie82whiskey_eyedShwentoBigRetweetsdebateawaynumbdave
    Voiceofgarth
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    How dare all these people win awards for Gravity?!? I CREATED GRAVITY!

    • 5,678
    • FAVS
    icedteerexOrozco2RaulKevinLauversachi_bbsrBigKeydifelipe7rzJosephParisi14chirkainaa
    • 7,597
    • RETWEETS
    Hailee_SteppOrozco2RaulShiva_anarionBigKeydiWestGamer3Floydiliciousshimaejazslendertata
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    I deeply regret some of you.

    • 3,146
    • FAVS
    GuiGuiliano_rabiayilmazORourkeMTRaeubertorteBrooklyn_LocoOfficialSKGellxmartin_timetturner
    • 7,569
    • RETWEETS
    caputdraconesdropsofmercuryMariaBrazza_notgoodbadgiovanniresciaDaniielaR26MeganNaderimonstershanu
  • TheTweetOfGod
      God @TheTweetOfGod

    You're welcome, Britain.

    • 1,742
    • FAVS
    notosruuTheCatatonicErasaveclarkeEngageTheRebelsmar_mar109SpencturdSabuttgeoJEDWARDFANsGurkaran8
    • 7,313
    • RETWEETS
    notosruucathrinembonekaMarialena96richardpfoster_robynbirdyhannoweentommccloud_Robbii1994
@TheTweetOfGod

@TheTweetOfGod

I'm your dope-ass divinity, trollin' with My trinity, droppin' top tweets in your immediate vicinity, flingin' fly phrases from the fringes of infinity.