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Always remember that what doesn't kill you will eventually kill you
If it wasn't for Fat Chicks I would have been a virgin until I was 27
Is it kosher to eat ass?
I'm not personally condoning rape but someone has to teach that little mother fucker that delivers my newspaper in the morning a lession
This is that moment in everyone's day after their coffee when they realize that last nights dead hooker isn't going to dig her own hole
At what point does autoerotic asphyxiation turn into choking the homeless guy while he beats off for the $50 you gave him?
Fuck, I'm more exhausted then a $10 whore on payday.
'twas the day before Christmas and all thru da hood, Not a Pimp hand been raise, cuz dim Hos had been good!
All girls love anal sex it's just that most don't know it until they regain consciousness
Lightening never strikes in the same place twice until it does.
You ever have one of those "I wish I hadn't just jacked off because I could really enjoy jacking off right now" moments
I'm gonna go ahead and throw this out here, I'm sexy as fuck to be this God dammed old.
When life hands you lemons, throw them at your boss then fuck his 17yo daughter.
I'm a freak in the bedroom but not "putting clothes pins on my nutt sack" freaky.
"Now I got tha World swingin' by my nutts, Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta..."
I'd suck your daddies dick just so I could taste where you came from. #bestpickupline
Fighting crime in my community for the sole reason of getting chicks and supporting single mothers that are workin their way through college.