Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Some people just need a high-five... In the face... With a chair!!!
If sex with 3 people is a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome you should understand why they call me Handsome!
Sometimes the line between RL and twitter gets blurry so then I just keep drinking.
Great tweet. Sorry about your Daddy issues
I'm not a gynecologist but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express so I'll take a look.
I would do anything for love but I won't do that. Well maybe. Ok I would. I'm pretty desperate.
Pack your bags we're going on a guilt trip!
As hot as you are I guess it's time to find another twitter crush. I get the silent treatment enough in RL. Thanks
Some people give out stars like candy. Did I mention I like candy, shiny things, beautiful women... Oooh shiny!
So apparently I'm a big enough asshole that I made someone quit twitter and return to Facebook! That's fucken funny shit!
If it tastes like chicken, keep in lickin...if it tastes like trout, get the fuck out!
Nothing quite as nice as a Niquil induced fog! Good times!
Some addictions are sooo worth it!
There's just something about a woman with a great ass!
Some people call me Maurice... 'cause I speak the pompatus of love
If I keep drinking rum and cokes will it make this college football game any better?
Less talk-y more suck-y!
You say tomato I say buy a fucken steak you hipster vegan mother fucker
If in doubt - whip it out!
Lady where did you learn to do your makeup? Cabbage Patch Kids? Do you own a mirror?