Hey curvy girls..

You're doing it right.

Nobody does not give a fuck quite like a 3 yr old does not give a fuck...

All my twitter crushes range from "far away" to "God damn, you live WHERE?!" .....it's a conspiracy....

You're HIGHLY bangable and interesting as fuck..

You must live at LEAST a continent away.

ALWAYS eat pussy like its the last one you'll ever taste.

There is something VERY powerful about oral.... Making someone lose their goddamned mind is intoxicating..

I'm into public displays of "fucking your brains out over this park bench"

You know..
Because I'm a hopeless romantic and shit.

I will awesome the panties right off your ass..

It's ok baby..
Keep using that foul language.

Cause I fucking dig it..

...and you were getting spanked regardless.

Just after the doctor tells me to "Turn my head and cough", I like to put my hand on top of his head to remind him who the boss is here...

I’d hate to ruin your pretty makeup with a blowjob but, you know……. blowjob..

Some people get their jollies from tearing people down..

I find it much more fulfilling to build them up.

People who don't masturbate freak me the fuck out

*types email*
*attaches cock pic*

*send*

"Attachment is too large to send*

.........

*High fives self*

If her memories of you don’t give her little mini orgasms..

You’re doing it wrong.

Curvy ladies everywhere..

My cock salutes you.

Don't let the bitches and the assholes of the world change your outlook or who you are...

That gives them WAY more power than they deserve

By all means, judge me..

Judge the ever loving shit out of me if you wish.

Be forewarned though…. I couldn’t care less what you think.

I can tell by your curves you are built to fuck

I’m just a boy..
Standing behind a girl..
Trying to look up her skirt with my shiny shoes.