When does CPR become necrophilia?

It's not the walk of shame because I look good after I've been fucked.

If you fuck me good enough, you won't even have to ask for the sandwich.

Yes, I blow into the USB drive when it doesn't work because I grew up in the 90s.

I wanna be the female that your parents love, your friends wanna fuck, and your babies come out of.

If it's difficult to show you care, it's probably because you don't.

I wonder what a cluster fuck would actually be like?

Pick the prettiest one and push her to insanity.
-men

I keep my standards the same way I keep my mind. High as fuck.

See hot Avi.
Follow.
Star fuck.
DM.
Kik.
Exchange pics.
Twarriage.
See new hotter Avi, follow.
Twivorce first twife.
Begin at step 3.

There is something so sexy about a guy who reveals hidden tattoos when taking off his shirt.

College taught me how to go out on school nights and show up on time for the next day.

Dating your ex is like shopping at your own garage sale.

Twitter: For when your boyfriend is playing Call of Duty and doesn't wanna get laid.

If testicles don't confuse you or make you nervous you probably have them.

These highs and lows aren't just a show for twitter. I really am an emotional basket case.
But a dream come true to psychologists everywhere

People who do not like to be alone. Ever. How do you do that?

The man who knows when it's ok to flirt and when to drop the: "No thanks I'm married" line.
I'd be proud to call him mine.

No baby, I was being a good girl. Spank me anyway?

Coffee and Xanax.


This must be what winning feels like!