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When I can change your thoughts on me from creepy to boring, I'll know I have succeeded in brainwashing another victim.
It's Friday so tonight I'll see lots of 'Who's hornier than thou' types of tweets, unless I'm getting laid of course.
When I drop the soap, nothing happens.
I'm going to upset some people with the next tweet but I understand because twitter is like totally real and completely truthful.
What does "paralyzing the monkey" mean?
It's funny how people think the government will fix the economy. It's like people on the Titanic saying, "The iceberg will save us."
In Monopoly, I kept breaking the rules and making deals on the side, just like successful Politicians and CEO's. Games can teach us things.
Joke of the day: Facebook stock
Everything I will ever need to know about sex I learned from the Taco Bell menu and political races.
Clever girl. I saw you backed up that tweet with another and had to delete my reply. Married?
If you show some perversion, and your followers stay, then it was meant to be.
Don't TPS report all over me yet. I just got here.
I'm still amazed that people thought it would be fashionable to advertise companies' logos on their clothes and actually pay to do it.
Touch screens and keyboards make hand writing a rarity. I feel awkward writing a check especially when the tat above her ass says CASH ONLY.
These witty twitter posts I wrote on a piece of paper didn't go over very well so I made a paper airplane with it. That didn't fly either.
If I become one of those persons in the upper 10%, I sure hope I don't get so pretentious as to assume I know what's best for the lower 90%.
Fridays were like magic to my ignorant self but I just found out it was "follow" Friday, not "swallow". Big let down there.
I have these deep deep thoughts, then I wipe and flush just like everybody else. Live free, quit TV.