Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Gonna start a new company called "Secret Service", and the first promo will be a free trip home after getting laid.
My Doctor is my friend. With benefits. Like insurance.
There's something going wrong around here.
Pretty sure I just won an iPad for filling out a survey.
The more obnoxious kiddos get the sharper toys from Santa this year. Hope the corn child likes the ice pick.
Lookin' for the Rolls-Royce version of Grey Poupon in the plastic bottle.
I need some scotch tape, pronto.
That's it. I'm taking this underwear back for a refund.
Pope Francis must be pretty hip to give Pope Benedict an icon of Madonna.
Twitter gives me Stockholm Syndrome.
The Best Buy guy called me "Boss" today. Not sure if it was just cause "fuck yeah" or the new mullet.