"No smoking, no drinking, no coffee...getting knocked up is the worst STD ever."

a wise woman once told me, "If you can fuck, you can dance"

I want to be special to someone besides myself....

you are not supposed to sneak up on someone when they are staring at a dead person.

i was talking back to my mom and she says "Little girl, I hope I don't have to knock you over and spit in you..." WTF LOL

I wish I had a penis so I could smack every guy in the face who was ever a douche to me! #ThankYou #thatisall

I think its cool there's a Junior Blind Olympics. I love that every kid gets a chance to participate regardless of disabilities.

just realized if i had gone to a regular public high school, i would have had 3 babies by now...smh

"nothing makes more noise than unwanted salsa music"

it seems that whenever someone gets famous, they either get REALLY fat or REALLY skinny....

"sex in the morning" comes on and I have to instantly stop myself from singing along because I am an "afternoon delight" kinda girl..oh well

I like to randomly grab my boobs in public. I just tell onlookers I am giving myslef a random breast examination suggested by my doctor, duh

.Sometimes when I see shirtless guys, I get an uncanny urge to bite their nipples! smh

Osama was buried at sea...I wonder will his grave be next to Megatron's

So 64 year old Elton John made Lady Gaga godmother to his 4 MONTH OLD son ...o my goodness lol

Nothing makes you feel more feminine than shaven legs and freshly polished toes :)

I can't wait for the semester to end..."throw some D's on dat bitch!" lol

Now that Osama bin Ladin has been killed under a Democratic president, I am sure Republicans want to see a long form death certificate! lol

Does anyone actually eat the banana flavored Runts? What the heck is Wonka thinking?! Smh.

noticed that my persona online is different from tha tin real life. it is like i have a ghetto online alias...lol