Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You’re not cool if you understand conjunction.
Who would have thought quinoa had a an "E" in it?
No clue what the hell I’m doing in life, but I’m having a lot of fun doing it.
Time for a rhyme
That's what I said
It's long time
And I'm off to bed.
Night, night tweethearts,
You're the reason I write shitty tweets.
So, you can RT a manual retweet of one's self, huh? Good to know.
In my next life I'm coming back as a hermit crab and the inside of my shell is gonna be fuckin' pimped. Just gonna chill in there, you know?
Overly sensitive people tend to ruin my mood.
I HATE FUN
Something tells me poppycock cock doesn't show up on a drug test.
It would be a real tragedy to let a joke format go extinct.
I was told to tweet with more class so I'm wearing a monocle and top hat now.
Lets just pretend I'm actually interested for now while I drink my coffee.
According to WebMD, I'm going to Hell.
Most people don’t get the partner they really deserve.
They choose the person they think they deserve and try to make the best of it.
Fucking ants everywhere
Devoting my remaining life to jackassery as being kind & thoughtful are apparently pointless.
I like long walks in the country. Dressing up, and down. Good sense of humour. Never put out on the first date, well apart from that one time.