@louis_tomlinson You have the most adorable grandpa ever. @iankeithtom is a pleasure to follow on Twitter.

@1dupdatesonline @earlybirdlarry I hope it means Taylor is traitor and they're going to make her walk the plank.

I bet game companies take servers down during the first week or so just to force players to eat, sleep and potty. #gw2

Ugh. No matter how many complimentary tweets I write about @jonhuntsman, I never get a RT by @jon2012girls #firstworldproblems #nhdebate

@trevso_electric Looks more like one man, one woman and one small person groping their genitals.

@rolldiggity "First! ...dammit!" - Eve

I can't decide which member of @onedirection is my favorite. Today it's @niallofficial because he's adorable. Also #voteonedirection

"@huffingtonpost Talkshow host accuses women's groups of not supporting conservative women" |
Maybe conservative women should support women?

@officiallwwy @harry_styles has big feet. You know what they say about big feet...they require big shows that have to be special ordered. $$

@gemmaannestyles @annefoxycoxy I'll give you $7 and half a bag of M&Ms but only if he'll do my laundry.

#Twitition WHY is there no #Bring1DtoUtah or #Bring1DtoSLC?! Utah has Directioners, too!

I got dissed on that Jew/fart joke because Twitter is usually so high-brow and classy.

Knowing the difference between then/than, your/you're and there/their/they're doesn't make you a grammar Nazi. It makes you not an idiot.

@garantinsley @annefoxycoxy I wholeheartedly agree with this. I'm ashamed for those people. Much love to you and Harry.

@gemmaannestyles @annefoxycoxy I'll keep my $7 then and offer what is now a quarter bag of M&Ms.

Being in charge of a Facebook page and posting the #DNSChanger story is like having 100K parents calling me for tech support at once.

We're out of food, so I guess it's time to go to the grocery store next week.

Utah should've hyped Damian Lillard as much as they overhyped Jimmer because Lillard is actually a good NBA player. Jimmermania annoyed me.

@bazecraze @hfce354 This isn't a tragedy. The Japanese tsunami was a tragedy. Katrina was a tragedy. This was mass murder.

@clarissaharrisa @trevso_electric yeah, Chris Brown has a special Twitter that makes his tweets in a serif font.