Ever have one of those mornings when you wake up and think "I should check for tattoos..."?

Twitter: the world's most popular bored game

What I want is simple.
Who I want is not.

Watching one of your thoughts ripple around the world. That's pretty cool.

Don't you hate it when you think of a better way to say something right after you press the send button?

Sexy is not what you wear. It's who you are. The look in your eye. The curve of your smile. Bring it on.

Twitter has to be female. Things are forbidden unless the conditions are right. Impossible to keep up with. And needs your full attention.

She had dimples. What else was I supposed to do?

So when it is okay to start repeating your own tweets? Just in case someone missed them the first time.

It's hard being unique when everyone else is too.

TGIF! Let the drinking begin!


Oh who am I kidding, I started last Wednesday, 2006.

I think I've forgotten how to sleep.

Gotta remember to move the mouse once in a while. Sitting here with the screen saver on is a dead giveaway...

Funny, with Twitter on my phone, I don't mind waiting in my car so much anymore.

Nothing to tweet, so I guess I'll retweet.

Not sure what smells worse, the microwave popcorn I burnt or the cushion I set on fire to mask it.

I used to be shy. Now I just imagine everybody's name with an @ in front of it.

Everyone on here has something worth retweeting!


Ok, almost everyone.

I use Twitter for therapy because I like the rates.

I think some of you would be really interesting in person.