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Don't "hello sir" the white customer and then "sup" me. I don't know you! Hello sir me too motherfucker!
I think I'm the only person in this Family Dollar without a neck tattoo. Wait, a 7yo just walked by. Yep, still the only one.
Sorry I punched your kid. He said Daddy and looked my way and I panicked.
My sex tape is just me eating fried chicken in the dark with a strobe light.
Closest I'll come to reading a romance novel is watching porn with closed caption on.
Local rappers think they're hard until you remind them that Martha Stewart has done more time in jail than them.
I throw up gang signs at the stoplight cameras to show how fucking gangsta I am. And then I turn back up my classical music.
A little piece of me dies inside when I see white people leave all that chicken on the bone when they eat.
I like rum. I like vodka. I don't like rum in vodka. I like Christians. I like rap. You see where I'm going with this?
According to HR when a co-worker says they're hungry its wrong to suggest they eat a dick.
I'm black but I was raised in the 80's so I'll dry hump any women in sight when "Pour Some Sugar on Me" comes on.
My kids have 1 free pass to use the phrase "I wish a muthafuka would!", they just don't know it.
I don't care about race, religion, age, or sexual preference but I will judge you if you don't know all the words to Gin and Juice.
I'm the best token black friend you'll ever have.
If you mean going down on a chick that exercises then yes I eat healthy.
Making it rain Hardee's coupons in this bitch!
Dollar General is where you go to work when you lose too many teeth to work at Walmart.
I didn't die yesterday so that was pretty sweet.
My 9yo keeps talking during every show we watch on Netflix and now I'm racist.
Oh cause I'm black I had to be the one blasting Kanye in the parking lot?!? Don't let Becky's grandma status fool you, she's pretty hood.
Follow me to eavesdrop on the conversations me and the voices in my head have everyday!