As I sit here, I acknowledge that I’m a very lucky man. Thank you!

@mfdc MFDC FOR PRESIDENT!!

@hotdogsladies Did you make a poop joke? Maybe I should take YOUR toys away and give them to charity!

Where can I get one of those helmets with the built in display?

.@macwidow is watching Empire Strikes Back for the first time and says to me, "Spaceballs is starting to make more sense."

Dude! Seriously? Put the Blackberry away when you're standing at the urinal with your junk in your other hand.

Funny: "This episode of That's Impossible brought to you by Microsoft Windows."

Because that's just the kind of guy @miketrose is.  http://t.imehop.com/1004ZRX 

Sunday mornings were made for the #baconmethod pic.twitter.com/PqoWLO8V30

My current view: pic.twitter.com/YvVnfM3qMh

It finally happened. We’re adopting. I’m a father. Faith Ashlynn born 3/3/13. pic.twitter.com/dbQvTKhutU

@jgamet If they’re going to intentionally send a married man ads for dating sites, it should at least be for  http://AshleyMadison.com  AMIRITE?

Give me the gun! I wanna zap things!, Geri (@ Babies R Us)  http://4sq.com/Y0nsdw 

Ok. Can we all get back to playing @letterpressapp now?

@film_girl @miketrose did you two hug it out when the dust settled? :)

@danbenjamin I’m on it! #baconmethod pic.twitter.com/w3hummYC

Imagine my surprise when I looked out my hotel room this morning and see this. http://t.co/KOOhm8FI

Damn good photo for the front side camera on the iPhone 5. http://t.co/bKEWeiK5

@burgertodd @thevillagebar @motzburger @travelchannel Thanks for putting the show together. Had no idea that place was right under my nose!

TSA at MSN just informed me that iPads must be removed from carry-ons today and possibly into the future. #securitytheater