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Man made the bible. Nature made weed and gay people.
So, you're following me on this right? What the fuck is wrong with people.
I wish I had more friends like me.
I want a bacon taco more than I want to be alive.
I want to open a "Chick-Fil-Atheist" an be open on Sunday's
EVERYDAY is Earth Day if you're not a piece of shit.
My ex girlfriend asked if I could give her some weed today. I'd rather give her aids.
We live in a world where the hippies lost, love didn't prevail, and someone shot John Lennon. Fuck this place.
I want to meet someone who knows absolutely nothing about me and has never met a single person that I know.
You god damn fucking cunt whore. I hope you drown in the cum you so desperately gobble up. Dumpster trash.
Thank FUCK I have an iPhone.
The universe, it laughs at us all.
I wanna play some fucking Mario Kart.
I just stole 3 Romney signs out of someone's yard. I'm drunk.
I lost all my weed in a series of small fires...
Females are fucking stupid.
You are a joke. Without the punchline.
If the word "fuck" didn't exist, I don't know what the fuck I'd say half the fucking time.
Ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out. I wish I knew.
My dog loves me and that's all need, anything more than that is just selfish.