Man made the bible. Nature made weed and gay people.

So, you're following me on this right? What the fuck is wrong with people.

I wish I had more friends like me.

I want a bacon taco more than I want to be alive.

I want to open a "Chick-Fil-Atheist" an be open on Sunday's

EVERYDAY is Earth Day if you're not a piece of shit.

My ex girlfriend asked if I could give her some weed today. I'd rather give her aids.

We live in a world where the hippies lost, love didn't prevail, and someone shot John Lennon. Fuck this place.

I want to meet someone who knows absolutely nothing about me and has never met a single person that I know.

You god damn fucking cunt whore. I hope you drown in the cum you so desperately gobble up. Dumpster trash.

Thank FUCK I have an iPhone.

The universe, it laughs at us all.

I wanna play some fucking Mario Kart.

I just stole 3 Romney signs out of someone's yard. I'm drunk.

I lost all my weed in a series of small fires...

Females are fucking stupid.

Rasta Leaves pic.twitter.com/3ANydXgp

You are a joke. Without the punchline.

If the word "fuck" didn't exist, I don't know what the fuck I'd say half the fucking time.

Ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out. I wish I knew.

My dog loves me and that's all need, anything more than that is just selfish.