I hate when you're having some really hot sex with a woman and it's getting pretty intense, when her husband wants a turn. #InteruptOrgasms

Finished breakfast. Now I weep for all those chickens that will never know the joy of being battered and pan fried.

Women wear glitter & it's no big deal. But if a guy has 1 piece of glitter on his pants, everyone knows I was just blown by my secretary.

Does Batman have a spring loaded condom dispensers on his utility belt in case he runs into Catwoman? I bet it's called a Batachicawowow

She's got legs, and I like what's between them. -not zz top

The quickest way to become a ninja?...walk into a spiderweb!

Happy fathers day to me. http://t.co/BorzxZS

The brain and the vagina are both remarkably interconnected organs. That's why you need to fuck them both at the same time.

An erect penis at 15 means you just woke up. 25=sex with GF. 35= sex with wife. 45 sex with wife & her friend. 55=sex with cialis.

@_vaginasaurus and when a chick says 'stop beating around the bush', she means 'what the fuck is wrong with you? Get in there already!'

@emmalicious69 with a body like yours, wearing anything is overdressed.

@girl_eats_world I win

@teriberry11 lucky friends

@teriberry11 sandwich, drinks, and bodies I'm good with...marriage? Hell no!

@k_w00sho @alleykat0879 you got cockolate in my penis butter

@emmalicious69 I just visited your blog. Very nice. Looking forward to more.

@emmalicious69 i'll explore it...and you a little later. Thank you for the invite

@gotsarah GO GET ONE! Get a crappy one if you have to. At least till you get one you want.

@iluvmuscles you've got to be exhausted

@gotsarah it's actually your dock pic. I'm not a total stalker