@iamcolinquinn Pay the city's homeless to catch the flakes on their tounge

@iamcolinquinn Karen: "Your hands don't feel like a soldiers." Grant: "I'm a Union general"

@iamcolinquinn "I read '50 Shades of Grey' this year, it really didn't help me pick out a color to paint my room"

@iamcolinquinn Or come out wrapped in the Sunday funnies and say "What? I've always been known as 'the comics' comic'"

@iamcolinquinn And what about this iPad? Sounds like the home of an egotistical frog.

@iamcolinquinn Mom's mad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you haven't been changed in days? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you're colicky? Fuck you, pay me

@iamcolinquinn You bring down the house with a dance number set to the song "Moves Like Yasser"

@iamcolinquinn iPad says it can't be infected with viruses,Norton peeks his head around the corner and says "We'll see about that" #alllaugh

@iamcolinquinn "You learn two great things in your life. Always rat on your friends and never keep your mouth shut"

@iamcolinquinn "How do you like your Fruit Roll-Up?" "Cherry" "Huh, an aristocrat"

Why are they showing the Walking Dead musical episode on all the TV channels now? Oh wait.... #121212concert #stones

@sarahthyre Having it written in blood was a nice touch

@iamcolinquinn Kill yourself.... with kindness!

@iamcolinquinn As you stroll merrily down the sunny meadow all your woodland friends come and join in your whistling of "Moves Like Jagger"

#DepressingToys 9/11 Jenga

@iamcolinquinn When having personal conversations someone can always say "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt" #catchphrase

I think Larry the Cable guy would have a lot less fans if they knew the R in Git-R-Done stood for "Reading"

For your retirement, end it like Beckham

It's a bad day for women I thought were dead already.

@davonmagwood Just signed up for instagram, if only I had some food to take pictures of #ThirdWorldFacebookStatusUpdates