Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
French ducks are really into pain.
I can't take driving directions from the female Siri. There is NO confidence in her voice.
I got street cred, yo. I'm from South Central.
NO ONE CARES WHAT THE WEATHER IS LIKE IN CUPERTINO, iPHONE.
I don't always know what I know. You know?
Sleep like nobody's watching.
I haven't got all night.
Hi. Just tweet from your head and your heart. Star and rt words you like. Nobody owes anyone anything. Ok, bye.
Oh shit! Tax deadline was yesterday? - Wesley Snipes
She asked for my number and I'm all "bitch I'm a 10"
I know I look good today because in the park like four birds did that sexy whistle at me.
The older you get, the less time you have for peel 'n eat shrimp.
I sprained my wrist switching from Scissors to Paper at the last second, but he played Rock so it was totally worth it. *cradles wrist* Ahh.
I like Spinderella's verse in Whatta Man, because she's just like "Yo, my man and I fuck a lot."
If you don't have a category in your monthly budget called "Pay For Shit My Kids Break" you are too perfect for me.
I can't believe people still invite me to things.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize how quiet your bathroom fan was.
I was going to read "Goodnight Moon" but then I just decided I'd wait for the movie.
If nobody stars or RTs a hypocritical tweet, eventually they'll all go extinct.
If a girl says she wants to be "just friends," it means she's so attracted to you that she doesn't trust herself not to rip your clothes off
King of the Trailer Park http://www.youtube.com/traylorparker