Once upon a time my uncle stole my nose 12 years later I had a coke problem coincidence....... I think not

It's getting harder and harder to not think about voting for @TheRealRoseanne in 2012

I won't win because I don't have any friends or what I wrote sucked but probably because of no comments

@OnlyMattMartin @Faghagmom someone should sit down and teach @lilstarbabii proper English before she auditions for Flavor of Love 4

#skinsbandaid The Shadoobies

Please RT #JusticeForJamey #monsTersForJamey

Tonight I'm fucking a correcions officer I finally get to stick it to the man

I like being a dirty hippie

Family is about who you love not who you're born to - Pedro from Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2

RT if u love me :)

I kissed a squirrel and I liked it

It's really annoying when a guy is blowing me and tries 2 make small talk is this really a goods time 2 ask me if i watch Grey's Anatomy

Follow @PleeeaseHateMe she does not have a penis #FF

Heard a rumor that Dick Cheney is about to die I would like to take this time to wish my good friend Satan a happy retirement U earned it :)

@FagHagMom I guess Hooked on Phonics didn't work for them

in honor of MLK day I would like to apologize to the following people @dcnome4 and that fat girl I called milk duds at Wal-Mart

The best album of 2010 was Crookers Tons of Friends it made me listen to music in a much more active way @bot106 @phrappuccino

@bot106 Crookers - Just Can't Get Enough (ft. Edu K) http://j.mp/gncQ4I

Rockin the Spice Girls and loving it!!!!!!

Everytime I see a "will you be my Valentine" tweet tomorrow I will cut up a baby sloth and feed it to Ann Coulter #YouveBeenWarned