its hard working here at petco. *flips dog over* where the hekc is the bar code *speaks into intercom* priec check on isle I Hate My Life

what if the real slim shady is in a wheel chair

Just remember when you see a nice ass she poops from there

u've got mail! pic.twitter.com/O7trBky8

john stamos brings greek yogurt to your party. you ignore the fact that he is john stamos and eat the yogurt excitedly "Hey" john says "Hey"

"the dogs are acting strange" *a dog drives by in a tractor*

im gonna wear this tomorrow what do u guys think pic.twitter.com/26c8d3UxhY

yea i rap http://t.co/r4cyg48o

wtf is scrappy doo's problem

um someone told me im cute and funny and nice (it was me) so why doesnt anyone like me

i wonder what its like to be a penis probably cool

@allcapsbro *skrikllex drops the bass* *there is no gravity* *skirllex is confused*

u think ur so cool cause u pee with ur penis

if u wanna be my lover / u gotta love chick fil a / we'll eat nuggets forever / every freakin day

thing i made cause dolphins rock http://t.co/lK9mMPfD

How do you even spell Zoes deachansheldl

wHAT IS THE POINT OF ME!!!!

every single one of you has a trait someone else would die for, be it mental or physical

#GirlsLoveItWhen you wear their clothes and pretend to be them

drake calling his mom a "doo-doo head" because she wouldnt buy him gushers