Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Most times you can remove the "that" and the sentence improves.
Twitter* made me nearly come** today.
*bumpy stretch of highway and well-placed nubby fold of my jeans
**spelling it "cum" makes me giggle
Have some of you *not* had an online affair?
Horrifying realization today. Twitter is actually AOL. Chat rooms/tweet stream and IMs/dms. Taking a while to process this.
Now, back to masturbation tweets.
When did I start tweeting only in useless sarcasm? Good god, I need to stop this. Or, via misplaced hands: "Hppd Hpd, O meed tp stp[ tjos."
My first twitter crush. Smokin' hot and funny. He starred me tons, too. Turns out he starred everyone tons and was "famous." Yuck. The end.
Thank god I haven't had sex in OVER A GOD DAMNED YEAR or I might think this lactose intolerance bubbling is a new life inside me.
Know what's hot? Marrieds tweeting about wanting to fuck their partners. Not hot like I want to fuck them, just good-for-the-universe hot.
Decided to take favstar yelling at me so often as a compliment.
Would it be off-putting if I told the guy I'm considering schtupping that he needs to make up for his lack of height with extra-bold lust?
It's so easy to pretend you are thinking about me.
Stars aren't sticking. This makes me want to kill someone with a lot of pain. Clearly, my day is fraught with appropriate perspective.
Do you ever see a 100 star tweet and regret that you were a part of it?
Once I confirm it's not because it's *me* I lose interest in a man's (indiscriminate and, therefore almost insulting) attention. (Yes, you.)
Sometimes it's really hard to give up Times New Roman.