Romney hasn't conceded yet 'cuz he's too busy chasing a big ass st. bernard around his office. It's fucking up everything.

I wonder how much weed has been flushed in Boston since last night.

wow @papajohns my pie was yummy but I like to keep politics and pizza separate pic.twitter.com/MsAYaR3W

@guccidointhings Gucci Mane retooled as a tough-as-nails, no nonsense homicide detective with a heart of gold and a few secrets of his own.

Snoop Dogg jumps awake at 4am, drenched in sweat."Soup...Dogg," he whispers to himself as he turns on his laptop and googles "Campbell's".

Let's dig up Breitbart's bones and piss and shit on his bones and then throw his bones in a fucking dumpster. #Breitbart #RememberAB #tcot

Smoking a Rick Ross blunt. It's just like a regular blunt except it's rolled with a large meat-lover's pizza instead of cigar paper.

mumford and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

#2012regrets Asking for an Everclear tattoo and getting an Everlast tattoo instead. I look like a goddamn idiot.

Vin Diesel waits in line for 6 hours to buy Wii U. Brings Wii U home and eats it with fork and knife. #VinDieselSunday

NO WAY IS THAT SHOW DANCING WITH THE STARS REAL. IF U TRIED TO DANCE WITH AN ACTUAL STAR YOU'D COMBUST INSTANTLY. TYPICAL LIBERAL MEDIA SMH

.@dominos delivery guy handed me a bible after sayin i should "avoid hell like the noid" i dont understand i just wanted some cheesy bread

who do i have to flex on to get a root beer over here

*Obama pulls out fattest blunt ever in front of crowd* alright America but just this once let's do this

@guccidointhings Gucci Mane doing something humorously uncharacteristic.

@danadearmond PLEASE TELL ALL OF YOUR FOLLOWERS TO RETWEET THIS IM CLOSE TO 182 FOLLOWERS!!!111

I refuse to stop doing this. Ride or die motherfuckers. pic.twitter.com/RNvybCKGZf

What if Jesus was a zombie? A zombie made out of, get this, bacon?! Now that would be one epic Easter! My wife left me 4 days ago.

An Extremely Goofy Movie is not only a title but also a warning. PLEASE stick to A Goofy Movie if you can't handle extreme goofiness.

hi @boring_as_heck please watch my short film & spread it around it is my soul
http://t.co/K7u7WsJH