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  • TurquoiseBird
     
    Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    There shouldn't have to be exemptions to justify choices I have the right to make. My body, my life. @marthaplimpton @repjoewalsh #WeExist

    • 8
    • FAVS
    primawesomeLuluWalcott1thecandymaamhatchetjoshalliehaganalisalernocoachkittyMarthaPlimpton
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    MellyJoLauraK205ellclaireohsoanggritpoet____a_leetle_poisontennormandreamsoffire
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    The good old days are happening to you now.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    louielouiekyleve
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    edgarschmidtbdk1521dlpasco
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    A night out with 22 year olds makes me sentimental for college... until about 2:00 am, when they can't hold their tongues or their liquor.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    brianmpalma1ashpondersprimawesomebenr75
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    dlpasco
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 problems *and* menstrual cramps, so quit your bitching.

    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    happyisthewitchkvinneaktivistSineQuaN0nUSAPeriodPiece
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    I find it amusing that the folks who dismiss twitter as "useless" are often the same ones who update their Facebook status five times a day.

    • 1
    • FAV
    mktgdouchebag____
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    IonaGuyFkaNOdonutandwhisky
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    Him: "I think I've seen you on OK Cupid..?" Me: "No, and if that's the new pickup line of our generation, kill me now."

    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    teramichelletembrookeWhyvoniallirense
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    Rush Limbaugh said he would move to Costa Rica if healthcare reform passed.

    Bon voyage, motherfucker.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    AndrezinhogregcabreraNariusPatelVeronica
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    "Wait wait wait...that's what 'shart' means?! I just call that 'shitting my pants'." -@osakasteve

    • 2
    • FAVS
    nancybrodentrammell
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    nancybroden
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    When I play doctor, I play to win.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    geriaynyarnivoreryanchris
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    What a fun, lovely ceremony as sweet and unique as the two who got hitched. Congrats, @sharkscanbiteme & @fullbright. http://t.co/8BF3nFW

    • 1
    • FAV
    walkr81__
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    sharkscanbitemefullbright
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    Technology & Vaginal Ecology seminar. Professor started off asking "What is a vagina?" I answered "A series of tubes." No one got the joke.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    dlpascojtrammell
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    If you regularly substitute 'pron' in lieu of 'porn', you're not being cute and you're not an adult and also you're probably retarded.

    • 1
    • FAV
    PeggyPlatter
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    donutandwhisky
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    I'm not saving daylight. I'm spending it like I'm not gonna see it for another eight months.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    TurquoiseBirdosakasteve
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    OH: "His mother is the manipulative Wile E. Coyote of their whole Looney Tunes family, TNT-ing his life."

    -angry dude at @zeitgeistcoffee

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ericlinryanchris
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    In celebration of Summer Solstice, the annual Seattle nude bike ride is about to take place. 50 degrees and raining. I'll wear my helmet.

    • 1
    • FAV
    eyestray
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    remymura
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    Note to the reckless and ambitious: any restaurant can have a drive-through if you drive hard and fast enough.

    • 1
    • FAV
    Suiz______________
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    thefallingtower
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    Forget Groupon. www.heartsy.me/ sends daily deals for Etsy goods and featured sellers, voted on and selected by the public.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    allirenseTurquoiseBird
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    "You do realize I was in a fraternity. There comes a time when you make other guys look at what you can do with your ball sack." -@atogopher

    • 1
    • FAV
    karenism
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    atogopher
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    "You're invisible to the one you want most to see you; and because you can only see him, you don't notice the ones who can only see you."

    • 2
    • FAVS
    wolfangs1Veronica
  • TurquoiseBird
      Tommy @TurquoiseBird

    Local radio: Seattle residents complaining about 3 inches of rain we had yesterday. NPR: Mother in Japan who lost her daughters in tsunami.

    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    ChrisSorensendonutandwhisky
@TurquoiseBird

@TurquoiseBird

1989 state spelling bee champion. Passionate for brain food, getting lost on purpose, and making things. Also known as 'Megan' to the initiated.