@theflyingalpaca I have a feeling that following you will be a journey all its own. Sorry, can't say the same about myself. But thanks man!

@grawly Looks like something my grandma would share on Facebook.

Really. Djentlemen. That is the level of creativity we've come to

@djbitchtits There ain't none o' that round here. But if ye come back later, we'll cook y'up a mean squirrel stew if you blow what I lean

@djbitchtits Just checkin' man. Keepin' sharp eyes on them waiters I mean haters

I want to follow @hipsterrex, but I don't want to ruin the 420 follower count.

@grawly actually lol'd. Thank you

@trilldrone I can see him over the fence with my telescope. Yep, he's rollin' around in piles of dead strippers' panties off in the distance

@semenphantom Agreed but to me it's more about the lyrics than anything, and if they don't have some of THE MOST meaningful lyrics, idk

@grawly I quit.

@hell_homer I'll be looking for the story in the coming months. Hahaha..

@hell_homer Sounds like the beginning of an installment on that eroticomic site to me...

"@harleyplays: "I'm going to work out." -me with a donut in my mouth at midnight." Literally me right now

"@actuallyamdolan: aftr al dis debatin cleerly gooby is teh onley candidaet hu isnt compleatly fukn retardid #Gooby2012"

I've learned more from @yaboybillnye in the last few weeks than I did in my entire senior year of high school.

Man Overboard in my head all day, all week long.

I miss her. I wanted to tell her.

Hail damage on brand new cars is just Mother Nature's way of saying LOL FUCK YOUR TECHNOLOGY SWING ON TREE VINES TO GET TO WORK

Snowing in August? No. That's golf ball size hail. http://t.co/5mjYKg7A

Sudden urge to play basketball. I hate basketball. What is this I don't even...