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What exactly is Twitter stalking? Feverishly reading?
I'm amazed when someone confuses having a boyfriend with not wanting to have sex with me.
This tweet is just practice for if I ever have to do a real one.
I'm sort of a ninja when it comes to nobody ever noticing me.
The smartest thing you could do is not listen to a random stranger on the internet telling you what to do.
I think for Halloween I'll probably dress up as an adult.
You can tell how much a girl likes you by how much she charges you for sex.
My girlfriend bought a hair iron that plays mp3s so that she can jam out while accidentally burning herself.
I'd probably give up drinking if they made alcohol in pill form.
I found a marijuana cigarette in my mouth.
My followers are ok I guess.
People with loud keys are pretty important.
I'm not tweeting today out of respect for the fact that I can't come up with a good tweet.
I was happy for a second but then it autocorrected itself. (:
I've seen a few inaccuracies in tweets.
Just because I'm tweeting doesn't mean that me and Megan Fox aren't handgliding in the himalayas. Don't assume!
The real comedian is the egg with 1 follower who rts you.
I'm surprised funeral homes don't offer the shrunken head option.
The inventor of the delete button helps me sleep like a baby.
I never tweet
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