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I would be rich beyond compare if I could find a way to monetize my ability to recognize celebrity voices in animated TV shows.
Either the roof of my mouth has gotten softer as I've gotten older or 6 year old me was tough as nails #rootbeerbarrelsarepointy
Got a haircut so good on Friday that I briefly considered killing myself to preserve it #beautifulcorpsefromtheforeheadup #couldtakeapicture
Shudder To Think Rationally #foxnewsversionsofindiebands
Show Us Your Papers Say Yeah #foxnewsversionsofindiebands
95% of yoga is desperately trying not to fart.
With only two followers, I'll not be appearing in a taco any time soon.
I clearly do not understand Twitter