I've decided that being a woman sucks and I now want to be a gay man - no periods, no bras, and you still get dick. What's not to like?

Please don't make me go to work. I don't want to play with those people.

Twitter is my escape from reality so for those who can't play nice, well I just can't follow you.

I really hate all the twittercides & drama. Know that for every venomous hater there are so many more of us who mourn when you go.

Today's forecast: High angst with a strong chance of flipping out. Bitch Watch advisory in effect.

Sweet tweet: You will never know how much just one star from you can brighten my day.

Having one of those mornings where I wish I was my cat. The food may suck but the nap schedule is awesome.

Sometimes twitter is all that keeps me from running away from home.

Off to the grocery store so little person has food. Side trip to the liquor store so mommy has sanity.

I've decided to take a long, hot shower to relax after my craptastic day...I'm taking my beer in with me.

Googled Honey Boo Boo..... To my American friends - sometimes you scare me.

There are days I seriously consider running away from it all. I can feel the angst building and the urge to run growing.

Okay, who's bright fucking idea was it to put all 10 strands of Christmas lights in ONE fucking bag?

Ah, crippling self doubt, my old nemesis. Looks like you'll be sticking around awhile.

At first I didn't take twitter seriously, it was a lark. Now it means more than I can say. You are my light on the dark days. Thank you.

Coffee will save me!

Amazing how holding your child's hand can melt you inside and make you feel invincible.

"Fuck you, I'm Iron Man" http://t.co/yUvDR9px

A year ago I put a big red streak in my hair & my boss wasn't terribly happy. Just dyed the streak purple. Monday morning should be fun :)

H & 5 have gone to see the Muppets.

I HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF!!! *happy dance*