Having sex on an elevator is wrong on so many levels

Snooki is pregnant? Impossible!! Oranges are seedless.

#hurriicaneireneplaylist Everyone knows a hurricane only has one 'Eye'

If 30 is the new 20, $5 better not be the new $1

Michelle Duggar and husband Jim Bob announce they are expecting 20th child http://t.co/GgFeWpcK New show name 'Fetus Hoarders'

Sweden has the same word for "married" and "poisoned". Well played Sweden. Well played.

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Lmaoo thas fcked up ! http://t.co/1hu6AvoP

If Newt got divorced while President, would his ex wife get half of America? #preparethem

You're so vain. I bet you think this tweet is about you. ~ Linda Ronstweet

Since Newt did not see his shadow we now must endure 6 more weeks of Republican debates #preparethem

I told the Cop to stop following me, he can get a Twitter account like everyone else

#hurriicaneireneplaylist Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane (PCM Version) - YouTube http://t.co/tCvcrh1

I wonder if the Mayan calendar had a leap year

RT if you have Twitter !

A will is a dead giveaway.

Damn Twitter , Don't be goin all Netflix up in this place

Twitter is a drug. You can only do 3 lines at a time. There's a limit to how much you can do a day. And the next day u do it all over again.

The Lambshank Redemption #foodfilms

More Twitter Hard Hitters http://t.co/X2DPjcs5 @robdangarcia @toomuchformen @mnmom50 @LoveNotHate2012 @KORKMAZHABER @jarodyudo @mperry05