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@Twitter_Tips even if @GeorgeWBush really is him I wouldn't follow him! Nor Obama. I've no respect 4 leaders that sacrifice the disabled
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"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."
15-year-old fell into an uncovered NY sewer manhole texting today. In the future we'll laugh that this was once considered news.
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@Twitter_Tips #TwitterTip Who likes your tweets? Type into Google: site:twitter.com/*/favourites @UserName - this doesn't work at all.
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Quote for the day: "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
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Man to wife at Target: "C'mon, no one looks at the designs on paper towels." He was subsequently informed of his error.
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Y'all better pick up the pace in here tonight, or I'll livetweet the HELL out of this My Little Pony movie.
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If were a supervillain, I'd turn these styrofoam cups and plastic lids into a machine that destroys the environment.
Faster, I mean.
Faster, I mean.
It's pretty hard to get out of jury duty unless you're comfortable dressing up as a confederate general who happens to be in blackface.
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