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Say 'beer can' with a British accent.
I just taught you how to say 'bacon' with a Jamaican accent.
"You thought you had 6 iPhone chargers but now you have none. Bwahahaha." - Apple
And in future news, half the Wall Street protesters leave to buy the new #iPhone.
I am no California radio host but I predict that a record number of children will be conceived tonight! #judgementday
Are Tom Cruise and John Travolta married yet?
All Rapture Merchandise Now 50% Off
Will we be raptured on Eastern Standard Time? If so, I'll will try not to ruin it for you, West Coast. #judgementday #spoileralert
Tomorrow, Facebook will start dragging the Earth into the Sun. Go to Settings > Planetary Settings > Trajectory then UNCLICK 'Apocalypse.'
In my mind, Dexter killed Bin Laden in a plastic-wrapped room after showing him pictures of all his victims.
That moment you've crafted the perfect tweet with -1 characters left and you must decide which awful grammar crime to commit.
RT if you are not doing yoga right now
Between FB, Twitter, G+, Spotify, Instagram, foursquare, WWF & Kindle for iPhone, someone remind me to look up when crossing the street.
She sells seashells down by the seashore.
Worst business plan ever.
Mitt Romney is holding down the app developer and cutting his hair off while his friends laugh. #amercia
Sarah MacLachlan should have enough royalties from 'Angel' to buy all those dogs and set them free
Apple has such a special way of making me feel like a douche for buying the first model of their product. #iPad2