@brettryland what are you doing in this picture, man? pic.twitter.com/mXJ13Dox

@mikeleffingwell @laurenlapkus @echok @emilymayamills why is this not on prime time TV?? Make longer episodes please.

I am the 99% of people hungry for a burrito bowl. #OccupyChipotleMexicanGrill

Straight up hanging with @shelby_farrar27 #swag #yolo #ssok13

@prodigalsam I started following you when you had 2,000 followers, and I'm still a huge fan. #weloveyou
#teamsammy

I said I was going to go to the gym at 7:30, but then I was like no.

@primawesome he puts them in a binder full of farts.

@prodigalsam I'll bet they've never heard of eating food either.

Walk into the club like what up I've got low self esteem

Name: Tyler
Gender: swag
Eye color: swag
Ht: swag
Wt: swag

@shelby_farrar27 that was beautiful.

@emilyhack13 I am tweeting to you were friends now #hallelujah #ssok13 #crippleswag

@mikeleffingwell this is the best tweet

Seniors at ACA please cry super hard in chapel tomorrow and talk about how much you'll miss me.

Hung out with @jxhyman @zilstershiner @ccjumpr and @stophelboy all night and now I can say I've lived "workaholics."

Accidentally referred to marijuana as "guacamole" so now I have below zero street cred.

@mikeleffingwell thank you so much for this show. #complex

@brettryland mine is "old guy in a unitard, working his thighs."

Learning Justin Bieber songs on my harmonica, just like @tweenhobo.

@primawesome crap, I thought I was going to be the only slutty cat for Halloween this year.