@Tymethief's most faved Tweets...
PSA: The next person who tells me how many muscles it takes to smile will find out how many muscles it takes to get stuffed in a dumpster.
How can you tell Twitter was designed by a male? The thumbnail of my picture is NOT centered around my face...
If you kill the messenger before they can give you bad news is that a "preemptive strike?" Related: I need a new bathroom scale.
I am trying to determine how much caffeine will be required to make me a productive human being today, so far the answer is... 'more'.
How much caffeine does it take to turn a zombie into a functioning human being? I'll let you know when I get there...
So I was sick for two days and didn't tweet and got several new followers... Guys! I've been doing it wrong!
According to the newest lists I'm on. I'm a funny blogging member of the vagina mafia out on probation. Shit. I'm awesome!
How few thoughts do I have to have per hour in order to be considered legally brain dead? I'm asking because... :slump: :Thump: :Drool:
No seriously guys. You get a woman a pap smear for Christmas no jury in the world will convict her for your gruesome and painful death. None
The problem with having a sane, productive and almost enjoyable Monday is now I have to worry about when the real Monday will strike.
SOooo, Haagen Daaz has Brown Sugar flavored ice cream. It is wonderful, and I think it would go really well with bacon.
Sunday is that boring guy at work who wants to give you a 3 hour description of his gall bladder surgery.
Today's funny has been suspended due to moodiness and headaches. Resumption will be determined by hormonal conditions. That is all.
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