Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive.
What idiot named him Spider-Man instead of Peter Parkour?
We should call the KKK "Triple K" like AAA. I hate this tweet. I hated it before I even hit send.
*walks from couch to front door in bathrobe to grab $7 pizza from delivery guy*
1.) No shirt
2.) No shoes
3.) Matthew McConaughey
I wish my kids fought like cats and dogs because then they'd just stare at each other aggressively from across the room while snarling.
Let's turn this Pizza Hut into a pizza home.
Heart-wrenching scene in new Fast & Furious when Vin Diesel docks with Paul Walker & cum blasts him out of the flaming wreckage of a Viper.
A kid at my daughter's school asked me if I was her big sister so now I'm making her date him.
Crocs, when used as birth control, are 100% effective.
For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
As badly as I was bullied growing up, I never let it stop me from becoming who I am today: the biggest pussy in all of Gayrod City
Jerry Lewis, Adam Carolla & Daniel Tosh walk into a bar & the female bartender asks what they're having & then poisons all of their drinks.
After years of heading into the woods in little uniforms w/o women to study Fitness, Theater & Leatherwork, the BSA is FINALLY gay-friendly!
Never do I wish I had the ability to foam at the mouth on demand more than when mall kiosk workers try and talk to me as I walk by.
slayer enthusiast. fang baring feral unicorn. dong merchant. auto didactic sycophant. reverse kegel instructor. team vagussy.