Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Don't accuse me of not caring. I even get my asshole waxed for you.
I don't drink or smoke, i have 3 kids, no help, and a full time job. So if I offend you, too fucking bad..this shit is all I have
Michael J Fox truly is brave. By now, I would have put a gun to my head & pulled the trigger. And missed.
Does anyone else's therapist say things like, "are you shitting me?!" and "this is pure gold" when you answer their questions?
Close play at home in Middle-earth baseball game. Umpire Smeagol: "Hey, I Gollum like I see 'em...get it?" Humorless Orcs beat him with bats
Hey, restaurants who use the word "Grille": Fucke you.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
I have washboard abs! I have pots and pan arms. Roller skate feet. A microwave head. Why did you create me like this. Will I ever know love
Love is the strongest thing in the entire world. besides hurricanes. and Thor. and the down syndromes.
One night stand? I have FOUR night stands. All hand crafted out of oak! Wait. WHAT IS THIS SEX YOU SPEAK OF? Oh that does sound better.
Sucking cock won't get you trophies. But tweeting about sucking cock just might....
Reports say the hurricane reaches as far south as North Carolina, where residents are currently doing their best to shoot at it with muskets
If you're in a wheelchair and you say your date stood you up, it's unclear to me whether your night was lousy or remarkable.
Is there any reputable sites that have porn with retarded people in it? Asking for a friend.
People who talk about me when I'm not around, you discussed me.
Giving up my supermodel aspirations bc I'm prone to cold sores, addicted to empty calories and have an amused disdain for black tar heroin.
I once had a cut that bled for 4 days straight and when I see a horse I check it's cock out. That's as close as I get to understanding women
Fucking someone uglier than you should be tax deductible.
Why not just go to a club where the roof is already high enough?