if a guys ex-girlfriend is still texting him, its because she's still getting an answer #truth #undateable

If he wanted to hang out with you- He would. If he wanted to talk to you- He'd text you. Move on. We all deserve better. #DICKS

Keep tweeting inspirational lyrics and maybe the guy who dumped your ass will take you back...or will think you're a pathetic loser

Hey, I just met you, and I'm fucking crazy

You had me at, "Do you want to shotgun a beer?"

Miley Cyrus is engaged at 19 and I couldn't pay a guy to date me #COOL

I'm never "a little drunk on you" - I'm always "completely shit wasted on you" #charming #undateable

We're young. We're gonna get hurt... But we'll bounce back like a motherfucker... So sack up and let's rage #undateablepeptalk

Pet peeve: my guy friends asking me to set them up with girls. Ya let me just call on my army of skanks that I keep for times like this? NO.

I complain about being single all the time but the thought of having to check in with someone every hour on the hour is truly nauseating

Hey I just met you, and I'm fucking crazy, so what's your number? Ill stalk you maybe

Don't be the drunk girl who cries. Everyone HATES that girl. Even that girl hates that girl.

The nicer someone is to me, the less attracted I am to them. It's pretty fucking sad.

The Olympics are fucking depressing to watch cause the only thing I'll ever be that good at is being a bitch #undateable

If you don't meow, fuck off

I recently started to like a guy so I deleted his number and cut ties immediately.

My idea of flirting is being as sarcastic as humanly possible and seeing if you can handle it. #charming and #undateable

The closest thing I have to a relationship right now is how I feel about vodka.

I'm far too psychotic to be pursued romantically so let's cut to the chase- What are you using me for? #paranoid #undateable

fuck "following your heart", follow the vodka to wherever and whoever it takes you.