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I guess there won't be any Spaghetti Tuesday after all.
Tomorrow, I'm calling in sick to places I don't even work at just to fuck with the people working Black Friday.
"Fine doesn't mean fine. The scale goes from: great, good, okay, not okay, I hate you, fine."
Lonely people give the best unasked-for relationship advice.
What if I told you that nobody cares about how many people followed/unfollowed you?
If our lives had background music, we'd probably know what the hell was going on.
You don't need me in your life. There's millions out there that can take my place. I'm just some random chick from the internet.
Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1"
Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100"
Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000"
Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
Any food can be a finger food. It just depends on how messy you're willing to get.
If "outdoorsey" means "getting drunk on the porch", then yes, I'm outdoorsey.
WARNING: If someone sends a link to download the new Nickelback single, DON'T CLICK ON IT! It's a link to download the new Nickelback single
Just bumped into Gloria Gaynor's ghost!
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.
Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the "tasty" box.
Could you imagine doing the YMCA in Chinese? Holy fuck.
Well, I'm pissed. I put this porn in my VCR and it's nothing but static! It sounded like such a good one too. It's called Head Cleaner.
I like getting new followers. Followers sounds a lot like flowers. I like flowers.
You shouldn't mess with people's feelings just because you're unsure of your own. Just be honest.
"I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"
I like setting things on fire. Instagram - UnicornSyrup86