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Antony Worrall Thompson arrested for shoplifting? Ready Steady Crook.
Trends like "Proud of Cher Lloyd" and "My Baby's Nearly 18" make me ask, can we not have a version of twitter for post-pubescents?
Tulisa is FHM's sexiest woman in the world?! She isn't even the sexiest woman in N-Dubz!!!
Romney win is great, as long as you're not:
• In the bottom 47% of earners
• The owner of a vagina
• A minority
• Remotely intelligent
Justin Bieber says he'll "never return to the UK"! Hard not to be a bit patriotic at moments like this.
#PornHasTaughtMe the ridiculously huge difference between 0 and 1 on a TV volume
Lily Allen's baby's name is 'Ethel Cooper' it's unfortunate she'll have to wait 75 years for it to suit her.
Tension in the Falkland Islands, violence in Northern Ireland and a Tory government fucking over the vulnerable? My 80's time machine works!
Jeremy Hunt is the new Health Secretary. He called the NHS a "60 year mistake" and believes in homeopathy! I wouldn't get ill for a bit.
I'm sad that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing! It was the age-old love story of beautiful girl meets aging closet homosexual :-(
Disimpacting the anus of popular culture with the long finger of satire! Winner of Golden Twits 2011