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  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    I want my last words to be "Hold My Beer And Watch This"

    • 146
    • FAVS
    FRANKSTALICIOUSBillMc7eluna333_sleepysmilecaraline_________GGMertonpeesinshower______KriddyE__________
    • 98
    • RETWEETS
    Bigboysworldeluna333jaypehKriddyE__________biancagutierrezthankuiknowmacturkey101Defect35
    thatstings
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    The only time my wife isn't screaming my name is in the bedroom during sex

    • 93
    • FAVS
    BillMc7_sleepysmileTmbartosohpen247__KriddyE__________My_Ego_AlteredTheMeanScene______DanKCharnley
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    Tmbartosohpen247__KriddyE__________Elifcellomelissaperez42PeteECochraneEscobedoloverBwanaChris
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    Call me a pussy but if I ever came home and Danny Trejo was banging the wife. I would let him finish out of respect and fear!

    • 61
    • FAVS
    _sleepysmileshamroxmysoxKriddyE__________PrivateEyeDaHO____anna2ashes________My_Ego_AlteredTheMeanScene______Crispy113
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    KriddyE__________My_Ego_AlteredKhamdan3__Miss_Firefly_Favstar500FavsDanKCharnleyMajorDickDanger__
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    Hey guys, everyone has a best friend that your kid oddly resembles right?

    • 54
    • FAVS
    GGMerton_sleepysmileAdar79AngieKriddyE__________JulieWahooMy_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPATheMeanScene______
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    KriddyE__________Favstar500FavsSquirrelNugsDctorFun__
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    "Dirty Deeds And They're Done With Sheep" if I was the lead singer of AC/DC

    • 44
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnley_sleepysmileOptimisticDoomKriddyE__________My_Ego_AlteredTheMeanScene______NFS2912Horsecoqisfunny
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    OptimisticDoomKriddyE__________
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    I think I'm going to start inserting the gas pump in my rectum so I atleast get some sort of enjoyment out of paying $80 for tank of gas

    • 42
    • FAVS
    KriddyE__________My_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPATheMeanScene______DanKCharnleypeachgrenadeHorsecoqisfunnyStephenBCramer
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    HThomassElifcelloSpiderogerepmckenna
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    Where there is smoke on the water, there is a bong.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnley_sleepysmileCrackedIllusionKriddyE__________JulieWahooMy_Ego_AlteredserialmatrixNFS2912
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    KriddyE__________ElephartMikeyb607SquirrelNugsSpiderogerMSUStigthatstings
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy

    • 36
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPATheMeanScene______serialmatrixJorja_Smirk______NFS2912Horsecoqisfunny
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    ambiensleepSquirrelNugsSpideroger
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    The key to a happy marriage is never come home with body glitter on your clothes

    • 38
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyKriddyE__________My_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPATheMeanScene______serialmatrixNFS2912Horsecoqisfunny
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    I was suppose to be at work 4 and a half hours ago. That is not good

    • 32
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPATheMeanScene______Jorja_Smirk______Bulldog0613LipglosslesboBryan_Swagger85
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    yepstillhereDctorFun__
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    My 2 year old walks around the house naked & the wife and her friends laugh and say its cute. I do it and I'm the pervert.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyJulieWahooMy_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPATheMeanScene______NFS2912HorsecoqisfunnyElifcello
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    CruelMeiga
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    I don't know what's worse when I've been drinking. The wife or my damn auto correct!

    • 27
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleybradcesanekMy_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPAHorsecoqisfunnyBulldog0613Bryan_Swagger85Faux_Ma
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Spideroger
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    Getting drunk and watching football. I love multitasking

    • 26
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyJulieWahooMy_Ego_AlteredBonnieTPAHorsecoqisfunnyBulldog0613GetbentLAFaux_Ma
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    It sucks being sick. My body feels like I was jumped by a gang of midgets

    • 22
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredElifcelloBulldog0613VerifiedDrunkGetbentLABryan_Swagger85Faux_Ma
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    FrauDammt
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    My superpower is the ability to piss Pepsi Clear after drinking a 12 pk of beer

    • 21
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredHorsecoqisfunnyBulldog0613Bryan_Swagger85Faux_MaStexcygoonumbertwo______
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    TheDudeDiogenes__Spideroger
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    Screw Morgan Freeman. I want a strip club d.j. to narrate my life.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredNFS2912HorsecoqisfunnyBulldog0613Bryan_Swagger85Faux_MaMcCPeggy
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    What's the difference between anal sex and a microwave?

    A microwave doesn't brown your meat

    • 13
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredThe_imBROglioMatthewTubbs83mannlistenxeyednpainless____OtisPdQGreenheadsOnly____
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    The_imBROglioMatthewTubbs83thejoshfowlerblkfetishguy______TXPerv____________flsteelersbabe
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    Why is it that some of life's greatest mysteries taste so good? For example: Jack In The Box Tacos, Funyuns, Taco Bell & Vagina

    • 18
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredBulldog0613VerifiedDrunkGetbentLAFaux_MaMcCPeggyGreenheadsOnly____
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    melissaperez42
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    Is it just me, or is Rage Against The Machine very angry for a band that makes millions of dollars

    • 19
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredBulldog0613Bryan_Swagger85Faux_MaMcCPeggygoonumbertwo______thweets
  • UrCoolArrow
      Juice @UrCoolArrow

    When I look at my timeline i don't get that special feeling like when i drink adult beverages, but it is a close second you goofy bastards!

    • 17
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMy_Ego_AlteredBulldog0613Faux_MaMcCPeggyMajorDickDanger__goonumbertwo______Spideroger
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Terenia01
@UrCoolArrow

@UrCoolArrow

Professional Midget Appraiser.... Great Friends With Beer... Owner Of 2 Tax Write-Offs Ages 10 and 5