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Airlines could be REALLY useful if all they lost was your emotional baggage.
Why is the response 'No I don't smoke' when one asks for a match? You could be a pyromaniac.
I'm eating fried chicken and a deviled egg because I like to keep families together.
Remember when the buck stopped somewhere?
Carrying a full bowl of dog water is like being in the bomb squad.
Saying you've never sent an email seems like being proud of never having cooked a meal or that you've never bought your own pants.
My Irish accent sounds suspiciously pirate.
To be fair, Sarah Palin understood EXACTLY what Miss Utah was trying to say.
I'm sort of at the place in my life where I could go for a cookie.
The dog is spooning the couch. Theirs is a forbidden love.
I'm making myself an Egg McMuffin for lunch. I even asked if I wanted fries with that. I didn't.
There's always a spark of excitement seeing a crab who's almost clawed his way out of the tank. Secretly, I cheer.
I like pie and when you make me laugh.
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