• Hola!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    When my toddlers ask where mommy is, I explain that she's gone to heaven. That way they're super-excited when she gets back from the gym.

    • 1,457
    • FAVS
    tomaschref1followernodadLegalDinosaurariscottjas0njamesjessmontalbanoJulianaAbaunzageniusindisgize
    • 1,656
    • RETWEETS
    LegalDinosaurjessmontalbanobillbame1966TheWadest69shadesoftaarjobless4eyesSir108kidroxas101
    iamjeffsloanseagullski__stockejockJaySaysStuffArroialakeanagirlVodkaShorebird5haelHrBrybennybootDeanB15YourDeadbeatDadUpturnedBathtubnavesssaCrudeUntimely
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    I hit a deer last night. It died instantly. I feel awful, but when I'm jogging I'm in my own world.

    • 1,725
    • FAVS
    wigginsadam80RJO25GRITknoxtylerciucci5scotglenerMaggieNotCopperekaj33plathian9
    • 871
    • RETWEETS
    tylerciucci5DrewExistsJoshFlaumMitchGosserwilkravitzLegalDinosaurbozobk1AaronCSU54
    ibid78msdanifernandezbazlyonsshwebby2__________OhhBradd
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    Not saying I went to the roughest high school, but I was voted Most Likely to Shut the Fuck Up White Boy You Ain't Shit Fuck You

    • 1,190
    • FAVS
    weakenedvampireHeyNikki1nsdrewsmslindahintonBlueDavidCMotownMamaOLGilkey3ToTheMaxMichael
    • 773
    • RETWEETS
    TipfanyHeyNikki1MPAVictoriaNerdyWonkaperchicoreeWelles19Rosebot_midnitesoc
    TheWadestdanjan13BillFienbergdsmitty_62VodkaShorebirdu_jellicent
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    It's gonna be a sad day when Twitter finds a way to delete spam accounts and we realize there are only twelve of us on here.

    • 1,081
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyariscottidiotonthemendhannahdouble_TheMattyMaySamuraiBatgirlmatt_welperedbriton
    • 835
    • RETWEETS
    LushyLishaBigHeadKidNo2SamuraiBatgirlsmchenailleSocialChalleng1afifah_pipVineMackenzieadamcomicspeak
    INeed_AnAdultLollyVpColt_SeethersDudeImShawn
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    I'll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes while she takes a fucking nap.

    • 1,085
    • FAVS
    quikjlHellJumper_0917Maria4TNTdeKenstructionscott_towelNunovyerbiznismorgan_peltsNoslo3
    • 773
    • RETWEETS
    HACKS_FOR_LIFE_scott_towelJocilynEmmaOhighIsiscosmicbibiKentWGrahamCoLiN69JHollyMemphis
    ArroiaSternoShotseliserose5MyFairCharity__WhosTheresa
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    I'm finally ready to tell my parents they're gay.

    • 988
    • FAVS
    TDeeRockdeathsquadbratKizerBillhelmRestenfieldsamhodappJaySusHChristAndrew_af_bruhtrav_bert
    • 464
    • RETWEETS
    ModernVersaceSaad__HcreepalerthighJaySusHChristJackAsHellcreeptasticsamvivianadgafNaDenDi
    nicfit75BillArrundaleBuddyAckerStexcyjoelebean
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    DOROTHY: And you, Scarecrow, well I'll miss you most of all.
    (Tin Man turns to Lion)
    TIN MAN: What the fuck was that shit?

    • 893
    • FAVS
    obligatemeLaBelleMaemassarge1squiblingimmortaljayejwoodhamshayf_DefUSK
    • 487
    • RETWEETS
    LegalDinosaurLaBelleMaeshayf_WuYorkYankeesYolandaRichard7Doom_Jedibitterlittlemaneliserose5
    13spencerDoom_JediDanKCharnley
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    Killer prank idea. Cut your finger off, then barely re-attach it. Tell someone to pull it. It comes off. They scream. Optional: Still fart.

    • 890
    • FAVS
    fullblowndavegeniusindisgizeGoofyGeminiClintinSDRitz_SmashMolassesBadgeryeahhstephLawbsterSaid
    • 423
    • RETWEETS
    Ashley_AlaskaHopperLubberTheWadestcool8julesLepriConnSasssPantsjr4jackrabbitsamcheston
    Scigglezflashemberclaire_mudietheedgeofchris__
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    I do this sex move where I step on a Lego and crumble to the floor like a man shot at Normandy.

    • 880
    • FAVS
    fullblowndaveAshley_Alaskarunswscissors21DameDeLesChatsskisheejkramblesPsychicStonerLousyBastard
    • 413
    • RETWEETS
    Ashley_AlaskaBlonde4DayzPsychicStonerLousyBastardterriucrStu_MonsterMapleLubeDawnOfTheCynic
    SSDatedkamiekaymee__IsaacKozell
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    If you mix LSD with Advil your headache rides away on a dragon.

    • 740
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyfullblowndaveSkullfuckTAshley_Alaskarunswscissors21vxlkSuper_CynthiaCaveman_42
    • 486
    • RETWEETS
    NanitaPalenciaSkullfuckTAshley_AlaskaMILFDianeFlowerChild037ladyfiredancerRealShaughnBarryBeau
    BarryBeau_InsanelyNormal__adamshermanesqScigglez__________
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    Sing like no one is listening. Dance like no one is watching. Tweet like there's a complete asshole in 7A.

    • 673
    • FAVS
    shayf_Whoopdeedoo22DanKCharnleygarethseltzerthegayfarmerguy__kelkuluseliserose5CanadianMclovin
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    eliserose5MikhaylaJessiemollyrunyonbookwmTamaraTattlesmara_fullerrealitytvnotDickBiggins
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    Kanye West is still mad about that tornado dropping my house on Kanye East.

    • 503
    • FAVS
    booyahchadlyJamieGreenleesninjamoose101DanKCharnleyAliffArshadladyfiredancerstockejockibid78
    • 388
    • RETWEETS
    CanadianMclovinTh3ReaLBaLakaymonicasjungleGarrattBradmuddymudskipperaaronmg412War_Bacondieegorod
    Doom_Jedi
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    My wife is doing this elaborate four-year prank where she leaves me and starts another family in Ohio and looks extremely happy on Facebook.

    • 645
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22DanKCharnleyTheWadestLuvPugRachelLeigh227RowdyPrimatematt_welperCanadianMclovin
    • 220
    • RETWEETS
    Lil_Dials2AndLive2LovehimynameiswinrynorwegianpersonAmee_H__lazydaizeAlexMalsIsaFitz
    flashember
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    Just so we're clear, the day Twitter folds we're moving this entire fucking thing to the Nutella product review thread at Amazon.

    • 593
    • FAVS
    olivenrightjokebo_terrorsesther_natScienceRan_cerrone_thehuskerguyFragerlockVodkaShorebird
    • 265
    • RETWEETS
    jokebo_terrorsesther_natbgutenschwagervindworld_Ms_WindTuna_Cutterwildandblue2204MattnWells
    isaaaa
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    Had no idea why my salad was $175, 'til the waiter explained that they only use Beets by Dre.

    • 489
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleykevincurleyjrvxlkbullryderdanBrandonFord5noonzworldDiaryOfIceTeampredli
    • 362
    • RETWEETS
    BrandonFord5mpredliStellaMChenSnarkySabskathybotteasCanadianMclovinleashaletteSuzzKalu
    stephcantsiu
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    We can't be friends if you don't at least occasionally try to move things with your mind, just to check.

    • 497
    • FAVS
    Mich_DDChlenalovegood_DanySchiavon15JLazySAngusmike__millerwildlovebirdmrsmith196645lisavikingstad
    • 337
    • RETWEETS
    OnFirePrincessMich_DDChEnnreekeEmm94mejustbethAlexKimKErichardvancampimmortaljaye
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    MISSED CONNECTIONS: You on rooftop in Gotham, dressed as bat. Me in muscle vest, chastity belt on mouth, punching you in face. Brunch?

    • 330
    • FAVS
    LizHackettplathian9Whoopdeedoo22DanKCharnleyTheWadestvxlkladyfiredancerstockejock
    • 479
    • RETWEETS
    plathian9ScigglezBigRedKrautBeautifulVixen1__nononowaityeah__clayureKalel0119flyingPOTUS
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    Allowing gays to declare bankruptcy has ruined the sanctity of my own bankruptcy.

    • 468
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyTheWadestvxlkladyfiredancerburdettekevinibid78ManvAlcoholJohnLyonTweets
    • 315
    • RETWEETS
    JamesBarrettssunset_protadpoleno3armyVet1972beer_coreyBigRedKrautscott_towelqqnqui
    1800Randy
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    "We have visual contact with London?"
    "Yes, Sir"
    "And France?"
    "Confirmed, General"
    "Well then Private, where the hell are the underpants?!"

    • 371
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22DanKCharnleygarethseltzerhangin_outeliserose5vxlkCanadianMclovinladyfiredancer
    • 346
    • RETWEETS
    CranberryBlogs1hangin_outeliserose5SenseiNativaC_Dangerdanjan13missbunnie22MBBeachRat
  • VaguelyFunnyDan
      Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan

    BREAKING: Rydell High School Senior quarantined due to chills. "They're multiplying," the CDC explained. "And he's losing control."

    • 422
    • FAVS
    JaneHumenfrank_perrottaSlabBaconBPnicoledeerelmt_379sarahmarie4497angelakruppEmilyRudd
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    JaneHumenlmt_379HayliSalinaskailameowSamBrennan9WKHanson1bjozzzyrunningman20
@VaguelyFunnyDan

@VaguelyFunnyDan

Georgian, vegan, wildly sensual, half-Jewish writer/producer. Creator of the WB's Dickpunchaz. Account is 18+. No 24-28. 29-40 is OK. No 41-50. 51+ is fine.