Well done to Amy Winehouse. Four months and no drugs. Going strong.

Is it possible to die from a hangover?

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Haikus are easy » But sometimes they don't make sense » Refrigerator

Someone just told me to "bing" it. What a tool.

Goodluck staying single to the single guys RT @yesreallyangel: Goodluck to all the girls with boyfriends who will be taking part in Movember

@helenzille is mine. "@irenenell: Who is ur twitter crush?"

@smartstripper @veronicavice the "right" wolf should become a unicorn. That would make more sense.

Just bought a floral pattern shirt. I'm gonna use it to pretend I'm gay, and trick hot ladies into making me straight!

@bouncingblonde I never really liked you anyway.

I love a bit of tart on a hot day! RT @mssugartits: My house smells glorious because TART! :D

@hendrikvh so does sparkly carbonated wine. At a fraction of the price. Doesn't last quite as long though.

If you are a woman and you use the P bomb don't expect a guy that isn't from Brakpan to want to date you.

@mssugartits yes, one night on skype she did. Its like a rainbow unicorn horn.

@scbchbum it really is. I moisturise.

@disastrous007 and I will bang you until your pussy explodes.

@bristolsweets mine is a glower.

@scbchbum my dishwasher comes in on Fridays. Her name is Ivy and she is the shiiiiiizzzz!

@sarcasticrylie the name is on the tip of my tongue. I just can't force it out.

@bristolsweets I might not look like Brad Pitt, but I lick like Lassie.