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the Virgin Mary was actually impregnated by Nick Cave's voice
Science teachers are just bitter they didn't do something real with their degrees, right?
Your relationship drama makes me roll my eyes so hard I look like Ian Curtis.
Happy Valentine's day, Oedipus.
I'm an Anthropologiest. I study why some cultures pay $152 for sweatpants.
I opened my window and there's a mariachi concert going on, but help because I live in the whitest neighborhood in America
Girls who understand 'Game of Thrones' & aren't pretending make me feel inadequate.
So glad I don't have to worry about being proposed to via flash mob.
"Can I interest you in another MOMosa?" - genius waiter somewhere, probably
Hi dads how are you doing today are you being kind to the mother of your children or are you resenting every fiber of her being
Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram