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"she ate my pussy like a watermelon"
if i owned a brothel the tag line would be "come as a stranger, leave as a friend"
guys, don't tell me to never leave again because you're going to make me feel bad when i delete again tomorrow
"i don't have time" = "i have time but i've chosen to use it for other things because you're not a priority for me"
guys don't tell me to never leave afar because you're going to make me feel bad when i delete again tomorrow
since i started to starve myself i never take shits which ruins like 30% of my jokes
just sent myself an email so i will have something nice to wake up to tomorrow, how's your life going
i've gotten incredibly good at pretending i'm not bitter at couples who have requited love and commitment
i feel comfortable going for a run at 10pm cause i know i'm way more likely to be raped by an acquaintance than a random person of the night
if honest, my resume specialty would say: "being used and then discarded like trash"
Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram