How I Left Your Mother #DepressingSitcoms

No Friends #DepressingSitcoms

I paid for my dinner with a card, and now the illuminati knows I like tuna melts.

Not enough medicinal puddings available. Pharmaceutical researchers need to get on that shit ASAP!

So, out of Obama or Romney, which is more likely to have saved the Council in the first Mass Effect?

pretending to be gay and dancing with cute, curvy girs is not a way to meet a future wife, given that they think you are gay

Falling off taller and taller objects #NewTLCRealityShows

We faked the return trip from the moon landing. #unpopularconspiracytheories

Holy shit, this is my last day at work, I guess I need to kill all of my staff or memory wipe them.

#FF Samuel Clammons, a man who has ridden in my old, Y-Wing style car held together by hope and t-shirts. @batshelter

A guy with silly 90s hair(parted straight down the middle) just karate chopped a guy to death, then set him on fire. #XFiles

We really can't survive the vacuum of space, Charlie Brown. #FailedPeanutsSpecials

Oil tycoon without mental illness #MovieCharacterYoullNeverSee

Scottish Extreme Entrail Poppers #AmericanizedHaggis

@mitdasein are you trying to suggest that making love is a beautiful shared activity, rather than an act someone does to someone else?

Fully awake in a questionably fake Empire

Spock, be so crazy and stuff.

There I stood, bathed in moonlight, taking pulls off a sparkling water, when, to my delight, nothing happened.

Did you know that every poorly funded state mental hospital has a secret rocketship inside of it? Look for the tallest abandoned structure.

I live in a pathetic future where I have three internet connected machines within several feet, and somehow haven't mutated yet.