Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Which one is THE roastery, though?
Hell hath no fury like a bad haircut.
I gotta get my ducks in a row. And then I gotta SHOOT THEIR FRIGGIN HEADS OFF.
"Congratulations on your loan" is the meanest thing anyone's said to me in years.
I'm having a hard time communicating with my family. How do you say "get away from me" in Depression?
I call my earbuds earacquaintances because we're just not there yet.
I wish it really *was* Katy Perry's last Friday night.
First thing's obviously first, you idiots.
Grab the bull by the horns. And then- uh oh, you're riding a bull.
Looking forward to reading Casey Anthony's book "If I Did It" in 10 years.
I like to play the "how hot could Hell REALLY be?" game in the shower with the water. I always land on "not that bad".
Something about being underground makes me sleepy. Being dead should be a breeze.
Anyone else looking forward to living in a nursing home with old people constantly using their cell phones to avoid people? #beholdthefuture
Reaching into my pocket for quarters and thinking "where are those Skittles?" Getting older is fun. And tasty!
I think the worst part about being homeless is that they'll never know about the "free" section on Craigstlist. #imsad
I only come out at nights. Y'know, the lean and hungry type.