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I'm at that awkward age where I don't want my parents to tell me what to do, but I still want them to pay for things.... #vv #mc
Facebook stalk like no one's watching, kiss like your man is Channing Tatum, and diet like you're seeing your ex tomorrow. #vv #mc
My favorite thing about pants is not wearing them.
I want abs. But I also want cake. #vv #mc
Always have your nails painted and your eyes lined because even if you don't have your shit together, you'll at least look like you do. #mc
"Ew, Channing Tatum, put your shirt back on." - said no one, ever. #vv #kj
If you wear an outfit, but no pictures went on Facebook, did you really wear the outfit? #vv #kj
Happy 236th birthday, America! You don't look a day over 21, you sexy betch. #vv #kj
Does running from my problems count as cardio?
Wait. So Blake Lively not only stole my potential husband, but she also got married in the house from The Notebook? That bitch. #vv #mc
Some things in life aren't always fair. Like Luke Bryan not being your boyfriend, and cake having calories.
If your name is Ryan, I'd probably fuck you. #gosling #reynolds #lochte #vv #mc
Everything I want in life is either fattening, an asshole, or on backorder.
#ThingsINeverGetTiredOfSeeing Ryan Gosling's abs, Mean Girls, Clueless, vodka in my freezer, Starbucks in my cupholder. #vv #mc
If you can't say anything nice, retweet. xx, #mc & #kj. http://facebook.com/vodkavendettas firstname.lastname@example.org