You're almost never as good as you think you are, but sometimes you're better

bro do u even exfoliate

Attila y u have such dumb names for songs

Arrivederci, James Gandolfini. You were one of the great greats. We'll miss your dangerous, big heart. #RIPGandolfini

I'm sorry, but can someone explain Daft Punk to me?

Pitch: a superhero movie that has no Jesus imagery in it.

Please don't bury me when I die. I'd prefer to be claymated.

Too much work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

I just talked to Jesus, he said, "Whattup Zeezus"

When your first child is born you have a "dad moment" where you look deeply into your first borns eyes and get the urge to go fishing

Never Give up

I think it’s a poor excuse to “become” lesbian because a guy screwed you over

Only time of the year where we all celebrate and say thanks to guys for having unprotected sex with our moms. Happy Father's Day

Scott Pilgrim? I’ve nerd of it. oooops what a telling freudian slip

A poem for dad:
You may very well be dead
For all I know
And you can't send an e-card
To a ghost

What’s the front of a butt called? Oh……. A Person

All your dads suck.

It’s past my bedtime. My bedtime is one minute after I wake up in the morning

"Yea? Well you're ugly." - Amanda Bynes after 20 minutes of deep thought.

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